


Child With Strength

by JenSpinner



Series: Two Stories [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Parental Castiel, Parental Dean Winchester, Plotting, Romance, Sad Ending, Violence, Witches, murders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-22 02:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 24,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11957946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/pseuds/JenSpinner
Summary: Dean and Castiel have been together for 4 years, happy, but then things start to unwind as Dean learns of the murder of Lisa..This story is set - following on (a few years after) from my other fiction The Day Castiel Had Green Eyes.





	1. Still Learning

Watching as the vampire moved with purpose down the dark street, she readied her blade. 'Have to be sure, have to be sure' she thought to herself looking further up the street to the girl who was walking with her head phones in completely unaware of the danger she was in. 

Moving as quietly and as quickly as she could she fell in line a while behind the vampire. He moved again, towards the girl, closing the gap, the attack would surely be coming soon.  
Gripping her blade tightly in her hand, she moved forward again. This time however her foot knocked in to a glass bottle that skidded a few feet in front of her. 'Crap' She thought looking up quickly to see the vampire turn at the noise. 

As the vampire sped towards her, she saw the would-be victim round the corner of the street completely oblivious. Standing up straight and mentally checking off 'ensure victim or would-be victims safety' in her head, she raised her blade. 

The vampire rushed at her and she jumped to the side with ease, this was not her first time. The vampire was clearly surprised but recovered his composure quickly and turned again. Lashing out with sharp claws that had extended from his finger nails. She swung her blade and took the tip of one of his fingers off. He practically growled at her in pain. She grinned then stopped herself 'Don't get cocky' she thought. The vampire lunged forward at her and they fell to the floor. She dropped her knife.. but the elastic band holding it to her wrist meant it didn't go far. She winced as the vampire sunk its teeth into her neck and began to suck. 'Amateur' she thought to herself 'not even going to knock me out first!', taking a firm grip of her blade she stabbed into the vampires chest and he cried out momentarily in surprise and pain. As he had risen away from her, she had slashed the blade across his neck and turned her face away quickly to avoid the spill of blood that was now running through her hair. 'Just don't get it in the mouth' she thought again. The vampire had both hands grasping at his neck, she brought her feet up from under him and with both of them pushed him off her. With a foot on his chest she caught the axe that the tall figure threw to her and with one hard single blow, took the vampires head from its shoulders. 

She stood back away from the body and looked down at it "He was new" She said to the figure that was now stood on the other side of the body. 

"He was. But he fed. The cure wouldn't have worked on him" 

"I always feel sorry for them when there new. Even though he bit me" She said 

"I know. But like I said, the cure wouldn't have worked. There was nothing you could do for him. But you did save that girl" 

"Yeah. Although idiots littering once again nearly blew it for me"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you're still learning, hell i'm still learning. You did a good job, Claire"

"Thanks Sam"


	2. Who live's in a bunker like this?

"Are you alright Claire?" Asked Castiel as she and Sam had got through the door to the bunker, as he looked at her and saw all the blood in her hair his eyes widened "Are you injured" 

"No, i'm fine. Not my blood" She said "Told you I didn't need the angel squad on stand by anymore" 

Castiel looked at her, half hurt, half proud "As long as you are alright"

"He nicked my neck a little, that's about it" She said 

"Would you like me to.." He began

"Yeah, please" Said Claire she was use to Castiel and Dean offering to heal her when ever she got hurt, most of the time like now she didn't really need it, but after speaking to Dean who explained to her that Castiel would always want to heal her and that there was no shame in being at full strength before each hunt, if anything it was silly to not accept the help while it was on offer, she had agreed to always let them heal her no matter how superficial the injury seemed, but Castiel still always asked first. 

"She did really good Cass" Said Sam watching as Castiel healed the bite marks on Claire's neck

Castiel looked at him "Thank you for offering to watch over her Sam" 

"No problem" He said "She didn't need me though" 

Claire smiled at Sam "Thanks Sam, but I doubt Castiel would have let me go if you hadn't come with me"

"Not since you have been refusing to allow Dean and I to come with you" Said Castiel

"Yeah but she just doesn't want to rely on being able to be healed all the time, when she's out there, even I have gotten a bit use to it now. Probably taking chances I wouldn't have before because I have not one, but two angels on stand by if i get hurt, its smart really" Said Sam with a wink to Claire 

"See? He get's it" Said Claire "I'm going to get a shower, thanks guys" She wandered off trying not to make it obvious how pleased with herself she was.

Sam looked at Castiel "She really didn't need me there tonight Cass"

Castiel nodded but didn't speak, clearly unconvinced 

"Where's Dean?" Asked Sam 

Castiel looked at him and his face lit up, almost laughing as he said "Charlie is making us watch Harry Potter" 

Sam raised his eyebrow's "He loves it, doesn't he?" 

Castiel nodded laughing "He thinks Ron is hilarious, honestly its to funny watching him get really into it. You should see Charlie she's thrilled" 

Charlie hadn't been living with them long, maybe a few months. She had been trying to get Dean to watch Harry Potter ever since and it seemed finely he had given in. Sam laughed as he imagined his brother and Charlie watching it.

"He should have really read the books first though" Said Sam

"Baby steps Sam" Said Castiel 

 

**************************

 

The next morning around 7 am Sams phone rang, he looked at it 'Garth' flashed up on the screen. 

Sam rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed "Garth?"

"Hey Sam"

"You ok, not heard from you in a while" 

"I'm alright Sam, is Dean with you?"

"No, I don't know where he is I just woke up" Said Sam yawning

"Ok good. I wanted to make sure he wasn't there before I told you"

"Garth, what's going on?"

"I was reading the paper and there was a story that caught my eye, it could be a case but then I looked at the name again.. "

"And..."

"It's Lisa Braeden" Said Garth 

"Oh" Said Sam suddenly taken back years to when Dean had been living with her "Is she..?" 

"Yeah" Said Garth sadly "It looks like a case to me Sam, but I was kinda feeling maybe Dean would want... but i thought best to check with you first" 

"Yeah Dean would want to. Did it say anything about her kid, she had a son?" Asked Sam 

"It said that her son found her, so I'm assuming he wasn't there when it happened" Said Garth

"Ok, thanks for letting me know Garth. Can you text me a photo of the article. We'll check in to it" 

"Sam.."

"Yeah?" 

"I hope Dean will be ok"


	3. The House Angel

Sam got up quickly and then took a shower, anything to delay telling Dean about Lisa. He got dressed and checked his phone. Garth had sent him a picture of the article and it was definitely her. He wondered for a moment how Dean would react to the news. Dean and Castiel had been together for nearly four years now and Sam had never seen his brother so relaxed and happy. He was about to bring all that crashing down as Lisa was, second to only Castiel in Deans love life. She, Ben and Dean had been a family. He had cared for them so much that he had himself wiped from their memory's so that they were in his eyes 'free of him'. 

Sam stood up and took a deep breath before walking out of his room and heading towards the kitchen - Dean may be an angel now and not need to eat, but he saw it as - 'I don't have to worry about getting fat now so why wouldn't i have a donut burger for breakfast?' so Sam was sure that's where he would be.

As Sam reached the kitchen he heard voices

"I'm not saying that you look like him, I'm just saying there were some similarities, that's all" Said Dean 

"I don't see how I am similar to a house elf, Dean" Came Cass's confused reply. Sam stopped just outside the door listening

"I never saw it before but he is a bit like him.." Said Claire "Like the whole fighting his family to do whats right thing.."

"Yeah and always coming to help me and Sam when we use to call" Said Dean fondly

"YES!!" Said Charlie excitedly "And how you can pop up here whenever you want.. just like Dobby does!!" 

Castiel must have liked what he heard as his reply was "Well Dobby is more powerful than he lets on at first and he is very loyal to Harry, As long as you aren't saying i look like an elf.. "

"Course not babycakes, you know you're a catch" Laughed Charlie 

"Yeah he is" Said Dean

Sam entered the room head now swirling with how had he never noticed all the similarities between Cass and Dobby.. He shook them from his mind and poured himself a cup of coffee as Dean greeted him.

"Now Sam... looks like Dobby..." He said and Charlie and Claire both laughed

Sam turned to face them and the laughing ceased almost immediately 

Charlie, being Charlie said "Oh god who's died?" Sam gave her a look before handing Dean his phone open on the text that Garth had sent him "Crap" Said Charlie

Dean looked at Sam puzzled, accepted the phone and looked at the message. His face turning white as he read. He put the phone down on the table without saying anything, glanced at Castiel and then Sam before disappearing. Sam sighed "Ah I should have seen that coming" 

"What's happened?" Asked Castiel and Charlie together, Claire had already picked up Sam's phone to look at the message.

"Who's Lisa Braeden?" She asked quietly

"Oh no" Said Charlie

Castiel looked at Sam "Is she dead?" 

"Yeah" Said Sam and then turning to Claire added "She and Dean use to be together" 

"Where does - did she live Sam?" Asked Castiel quickly

Sam thought for a moment before answering and then Castiel vanished as Dean had

Claire looked at Sam as she passed the phone to Charlie "Is he going to be alright?" 

"With the exception of Castiel, Lisa was the longest relationship Dean ever had. They didn't just spilt up either, Crowley targeted Lisa when he was working with Castiel to find purgatory and Lisa got hurt, Castiel healed her and then Dean had him wipe Lisa and Ben's memory's of him" Said Sam "I don't know how Dean's going to react to this, seeing as how it was because Castiel was working with Crowley that Dean's family was targeted" He shook his head before adding "I just hope this doesn't come between Castiel and Dean now" 

Charlie looked at him "Dean loves Cass to much. He forgave him for working with Crowley then, whatever has happened now was nothing to do with Castiel" 

Sam nodded "But if Dean thinks that had they still been together he could have protected her? He has a habit of blaming himself for things like this" 

"Yeah I've noticed" Said Charlie and Claire nodded


	4. Remember Me

Dean had reappeared in his own room. He could hear the others talking in the kitchen, no doubt talking about him and Lisa. He pulled on his shoes and a jacket. Opened a draw quietly to pull out a few photographs he kept there, one of him and Sam with their mum, one of him, Sam and Bobby, one of his dad and mum and one of him and Castiel that Sam had taken when they were kissing, Dean had said he was going to get rid of it, but had kept it instead.. and then lastly one of him and Lisa and Ben at a bbq. He wasn't sure which neighbour has taken the photo but it didn't matter. There she was smiling at Dean who she had forced to wear her pink cooking apron for a laugh. Dean looked at her face and found himself remembering there year together, and now.. she was dead? He dropped the picture back in the draw and closed it quietly before wiping his eyes. 

He then disappeared again, with a single thought in his mind.. 'Ben'. 

He appeared in front of his old house, Castiel appearing next to him seconds later and making him jump slightly. 

"Cass? What are you doing here?" Asked Dean

"Don't ask stupid questions Dean" Said Castiel looking at him sadly and taking his hand in his own "I'm here for you, if you need me"

Dean found himself wiping his eyes again and squeezed Castiels hand briefly in reply so he didn't have to speak. 

"Dean?" Came a voice from behind them

Both angels turned around. Dean letting go of Castiels hand. Both looked in shock as they were suddenly face to face with..

"Ben" Said Dean puzzled that Ben seemed to remember him and shocked at how grown up he was now

"Dean Winchester?" Asked Ben eyeing him

"Yeah.."

Castiel looked just as confused as Dean did, he wiped this boys memory's himself.. 

"I found some letters with my mums things, one was addressed to Dean Winchester" Said Ben and then to further confuse Dean asked "Do you know who I am?" 

"Yeah, Lisa's son. Ben" Said Dean wondering what was in the letter suddenly and how there even was a letter..

Ben sighed heavily "And your son"

Dean gawped at him "What?!!" 

"It's ok, I know. She wrote me a letter too" Said Ben clearly thinking that Dean already knew he was his father

Dean seemed once again incapable of speech so Castiel stepped forward "Could we see this letter please Ben?" 

Ben looked at him "Who are you?" 

"My name is Castiel and I'm.."

"He's with me" Said Dean quickly, he hated when Castiel worried that Dean didn't want people to know they were an item, he'd got into the habit of announcing it at really inappropriate times - like now for example "We're together"

Ben shrugged "Oh right. Yeah I have the letter, wait here" He moved past them and went into his house, Dean could see lots of boxes through the open door. Ben seemed to be moving out, that would explain him unearthing a letter that Lisa must have written years ago. As Ben disappeared from sight Castiel turned to Dean.

"Lisa told me he wasn't mine" Said Dean weakly "I didn't know he was mine Cass"

Castiel looked at him "I wonder why she didn't tell you when you were together"

Ben was back at the door and walked down the path towards them arm out stretched holding a letter towards Dean, who took it from him and ripped it open. There were two letters inside it. One was clearly older than the other. Dean looked at the oldest one first it was much shorter than the other -

"Dean - I'm pregnant. You're going to be a dad. If you want to be that is, can we meet? Lisa" 

Dean looked up from the letter to Ben... his son. Why had Lisa lied to him?

He looked down at the second letter now which was much longer and newer.

"Dean. The past few months have been wonderful. I can't tell you how much you mean to me and Ben. And I have to tell you, now that i know hunting is in your past - Ben is your son. I'm sorry I lied to you about it before but I didn't think you would want to stick around. How wrong was I? I was trying to protect Ben from your job after you saved him and before that, I didn't want you to just stick around because I was pregnant. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. After the past few months I have realised that not only did I rob you of getting to see your son grow up - and even though you didn't know you were his father you were still there for him when he needed you the most, when those things attacked, you saved him for which i will forever be grateful, but i robbed him from knowing you too. I am so sorry. But now that we have been a family for a year I thought it was time for me to come clean. You should know, even though you thought you weren't his father - you have treated him like your son and I know he thinks of you as his dad. I owe you both a massive apology. Much Love - and regret.. Lisa. x"

Dean blinked away a single tear as he finished the letter looking back up to Ben "Have you read this?" 

"No, it wasn't addressed to me" Said Ben 

"I didn't know" Said Dean "I'm so sorry Ben, I didn't know"

"You didn't know that i was your son?" Asked Ben frowning

"No" Said Dean looking at him

"Oh, i thought you did"

"No" 

"Well it's all out in the open now" Said Ben before adding "Why are you here then?" 

"I saw about what happened in the paper" Said Dean as Ben shifted uncomfortably "I wanted to pay my respects"

"Well the funeral was yesterday" Said Ben not meeting Dean's eyes 

"Oh" Said Dean

Castiel sensed awkwardness and stepped in again

"Are you leaving Ben?" He asked

"Can't afford to stay here" Said Ben "Got a bed in a shared house a couple of hours from here"

Castiel looked at Dean "Dean.. "

Dean looked at Castiel, then back to Ben "Cass, will you make him remember" 

"You sure?"

"Yeah" Said Dean as Ben looked at them both in confusion

Castiel stepped forward and Ben pulled away as he tried to place a finger to his forehead "What are you.." 

Dean watched as Castiel touched Ben's head with his finger. A glint appeared in Ben's eyes as his memory's were returned to him. 

"Dean????" He said suddenly 

"Hello Ben" Said Dean


	5. Howler

"I remember you" Said Ben and then turning to Castiel added "What did you do to me?" 

Castiel looked at him "I returned to you the memory's I had taken, Dean wanted you and your mom to be safe and asked me to make you both forget him"

Ben looked at Dean "And then you left us"

Dean felt the hurt in Ben's voice and closed his eyes for a moment "Your mom got hurt because of me and I didn't want that to happen again, I thought by removing myself from your life's you would be safer"

Ben considered what Dean had said for a moment before seeming to accept it and then said "I remember those things as well - changlings? Is that why you are here? Do you think they are what killed my mom?"

"No, but something did" Said Dean "And I promise you now, we will find out what happened"

Ben nodded to him "I know you will"

Castiel looked at Dean again now "Dean, maybe Ben could come back to the bunker?" He wanted Dean to know that he was not going to get in the way of Dean building a relationship with Ben.

Dean looked at Cass then quickly back to Ben "I know this is a messed up situation Ben, but if you did want to come back with me and Cass there is plenty of space in the bunker. And you know, we could - get to know each other again, if you liked?"

"Whats 'the bunker'?" Asked Ben

"Where we live" Answered Dean 

"Just you two?" Asked Ben 

"Well, no us and Charlie and Claire and i guess.. your uncle Sam" Said Dean feeling how weird that sounded

"Its kinda like our hunting headquarters" Added Castiel 

"Would you let me help in finding out what happened to my mom?" 

Dean looked at him sadly "Yes Ben. I would, if that's what you wanted. But you need to know that hunting is serious and dangerous work"

"I understand - and I get it's serious. After everything that has happened how could I not get that?" Said Ben "I'm in"

Castiel looked back behind him to the boxes "Do you want to come back to the bunker tonight or think about it some more?"

"I said I'm in, no point in putting it off. Where's your car?" He added looking at Dean

Dean looked at Castiel almost having forgot how they got here "We should talk some more in side, a lots changed since I lived here and you could use an update"

 

************************

"Ok - So... you're an angel.. and you're an angel?" Asked Ben "And that's how you messed with my memory's and you got here by flying.." He shook his head adding "You kept the car though right?" 

Dean looked at him "Implying that I would get rid of that car is crazier than anything I just said" 

For the first time since they had begun talking Ben laughed "Yeah, I knew you wouldn't have" 

"We can transport you and your belongings back to the bunker, whenever you are ready" Said Castiel "Although if you are taking all of these boxes - it will require more than one trip - which is also fine" 

"Ok. I've got a week left in here. So we don't have to take it all today" Said Ben looking around 

"Well you wanna go now then? And just take whatever you need for the next day or so. We can bring you back here whenever you need so don't worry if you forget anything" Said Dean

"Er.. speaking of forgetting things..." Said Ben suddenly

"Yeah?" Asked Dean

"I have a dog.. I was going to take him to the rescue centre tomorrow as the house share wouldn't allow pets.. Don't suppose i could..."

"Is he house trained" Asked Dean knowing that even if he wasn't they were getting a dog

"Yeah he is" Said Ben "He is only a year old, an English Mastiff - I'll go and get him" Said Ben heading for the kitchen door

Castiel looked at Dean not even trying to hide his smile "A dog Dean" He said happily "I always said the bunker seemed short one species"

Dean rolled his eyes at his adorable angel and turned towards the kitchen to see Ben walking out the door with what could only be described as a giant of a dog, that was staying by Ben's side even though he wasn't on a lead. 

Castiel walked forwards to greet the animal and Dean hung back looking stunned at the sheer size of the beast.

"This" Said Ben patting the dogs oversized head "Is Howler. I was out walking him, when.. it happened"

Castiel was already stroking the dog fondly as Dean stepped forward cautiously and allowed the dog to sniff his hand

"He is magnificent" Said Castiel smiling to Ben, who couldn't stop himself from grinning

"So... could i bring him?" Asked Ben 

Castiel looked at Dean, who nodded "You're cleaning up after him though.. poop is where i draw the line" 

Again Ben laughed "Fair enough. I'll go and get his food and pooh bags and stuff"


	6. This is my son..

Charlie and Sam were sat in the library waiting for Dean and Castiel to return. Claire had gone for another shower complaining that she could still feel vamp blood on her even though Charlie assured her there was none. 

"You're probably right, its more like i can still feel it" Claire had said before heading off for a shower 

Suddenly there was a bluster of book pages and Sam and Charlie stared at the small group that had just appeared in front of them. 

Charlie.. being Charlie couldn't stop herself from jumping up and calling out "OMG a its a doggggg" and looking at Ben asked "Can i?"

Ben looked at her "Go ahead" 

"OMG he is the most handsomest little - well big dog - ever!" 

"Er Charlie.. Charlie.... CHARLIE" Said Dean "Stop messing with the dog for a minute" 

"But Dean he is just a great big softy" Said Charlie looking up hands still rubbing the dog behind his ears, which Howler seemed to be enjoying as he suddenly sprawled himself out on his back and undeniably eye begged Charlie to rub his belly, which of course she did. 

Dean decided she was now a lost cause and turned to Sam.. "Sam you remember Ben?"

Sam nodded standing up "Hello Ben, I'm sorry for your loss" 

Charlie suddenly stopped petting Howler and looked up "Oh god, I'm sorry. I can't help myself when it comes to dogs. I'm sorry too"

"Don't worry about it" Said Ben "He is a better ice breaker than what happened to my mom"

Dean wanting to break the awkward silence said "So.. turns out. Ben is my son" 

Sam and Charlie both looked at him in pure shock. 

"Really?" Said Charlie

"That's great" Said Sam smiling at him "So you're my nephew" He added looking at Ben who looked awkward

"Yeah. I guess so" 

"He is going to stay here with us, and yes Charlie, Howler is going to stay too" Said Dean 

"Howler is such a perfect name" Said Charlie to Ben who smiled at her, he had a feeling he was going to get along with this girl, she was wacky.

"Yeah I named him" Said Ben 

"Do you want me to show you the spare rooms so you can pick one?" Asked Dean "I'm sure Charlie will look after Howler for you for a minute" 

"Er yeah sure" Said Ben picking up one of his bags and following Dean out of the kitchen, Castiel followed behind them carrying another bag of Ben's things. 

As they reached the hallway Claire was closing the door to the bathroom, dressed in just a towel with her wet hair wild around her shoulders. She spotted Ben coming around the corner. 

"Er, who are you" She asked 

Ben stopped and looked at her "I'm Ben, I'm Dean's son" 

Claire frowned at him "What?" She asked looking from Ben to Dean to Castiel

"Long story Claire, will explain later" Said Dean noticing how Ben's eyes seemed to linger on the girl and how Claire was looking at him

"Right" Said Claire moving past them "Welcome to the weirdest family ever Ben" She added smiling at him

After she had disappeared behind her own bedroom door Ben looked at Dean "Is she your daughter?" 

Dean laughed "No.. She's not my daughter - that's another long story. Here's a free room, what do you think? Could get a dog bed for Howler to put in that corner"

"So he can stay in my room with me?" Asked Ben

"Well yeah.. thought you'd want him to. if not we could always..." 

"No, no that's great" Said Ben clearly pleased "Thank you Dean" 

"No problem" Said Dean "So this rooms ok?" 

"Yeah" Said Ben putting his bag on the bed in his new room, Castiel copied him and put down the other bag "Thanks" Ben said to him

Castiel nodded and then walked past Ben and Dean and headed back to the kitchen. Dean looked at Ben "How old are you now?"

"Twenty, twenty one in June" Said Ben

"You've drank before right?" Asked Dean

"Yeah I have" 

"Good cause I don't know about you, but I could use a beer" Said Dean


	7. Explaining the unexplainable

Charlie and Sam were both playing with Howler when they returned to the kitchen. 

Dean laughed at them

"Never thought you'd bring a dog in" Said Sam looking at him 

"He is Ben's dog, and he would have had to have been taken to a rescue centre, if I hadn't" Said Dean looking at Ben he added "Besides you seem to have him well trained" 

"Mom insisted on dog obedience classes" Said Ben "He did really well"

"You can tell" Said Claire who was now standing in the door way behind them looking at Howler

Ben turned around to look at her and smiled "Thanks" 

Sam and Charlie exchanged looks. 

"Ok.. who's up for a beer?" Said Dean 

Everyone agreed they were. Castiel frowning at Claire "You aren't twenty one yet Claire"

"I'm twenty" Said Claire "And after last night, I think I've earned a beer or two" 

Castiel backed down not wanting Claire to play the 'You're not my father card'

"What happened last night?" Ben asked Claire who looked at Dean to see whether or not she was allowed to answer truthfully

Dean met her eyes and said "Claire is training to be a hunter. She took out a vampire last night. With no help, shes bought herself a beer or two" 

"You killed a vampire last night?" Asked Ben clearly impressed 

"Yup" She replied 

Ben looked back to Dean "So you can train me, like you've been training Claire?" 

"We will talk about all that tomorrow" Said Dean seeing the look on Sam's face "I'm going to go and get some beers from the shop, you coming Cass?" 

"Yes" Said Castiel and they disappeared together

Ben looked at Claire "Do they do that a lot? Just vanish?" 

Claire smiled "All the time" 

Charlie looked at Howler who was still lay in front of her letting her scratch his tummy "You know Ben, we could always take him for a quick walk for you if you want?" She said indicating herself and Sam

"Er.." Began Ben 

"It'd be no trouble, I haven't walked a dog for ages" She said "And Claire could get you a big bowl to get some water for him when we got back" 

********************

"How did you manage to rope me into this?" Asked Sam pulling a baggie over his hand picking up Howlers sizeable deposit as Charlie watched patting Howler on the head

"You saw them checking each other out right?" Said Charlie excitedly "I mean how often does Claire get to meet a guy that knows.. you know about hunting and all that, that is the same age as her and looks like that!" 

"That's my nephew!" Said Sam 

"Yeah he is, and he has the Winchester good looks gene alright" Said Charlie smirking "But seriously, think about it - they have both had some pretty shitty things happen to them. Even if they just become best friends like me and you and Dean did.. It's a good thing.. Well no.. not what happened to him.. I just mean - that they each now have someone to relate, ya know?" 

"Yeah I do. I wonder if Dean and Castiel noticed it" Said Sam "And how they would react if Dean's son and... Claire - who Castiel feels responsible for - ended up together" 

"I noticed your reaction when Ben mentioned about Dean training him.. Don't you think he should?" Asked Charlie

"It's not that I don't think he should, he has just as much reason as me or Dean or Claire to want to.. I just wish that wasn't the case. Like he had a normal life and now everything is so messed up, his mom's dead, he is living in the bunker with us lot and we are going to teach him to hunt monsters.. I just think someone should explain to him.. that he doesn't have to hunt - he could help with his mom's case and train but then he wouldn't have to choose that as his life forever.. "

"Yeah, like you wish someone had said that to you?" Asked Charlie 

"Well.. yeah. I use to wish that" Said Sam quietly as they headed back towards the bunker. Sam dumping Howlers mess bag in the bin outside. 

 

*********************

"How long have you been living here?" Ben asked Claire as she handed him a large glass bowl and then picked up a second one and carried it herself over to the sink to fill with water for Howler 

"About a year or so now.. I used to live with this woman named Jody, shes awesome but I kept trying to hunt and missed work, lost my job and started getting in to trouble - which got her into trouble too since she was the sheriff and kept sticking her neck out for me. Anyway one day I asked Castiel if I could move in here and train up properly. It was another month after that before everyone agreed to it, but i finally did and they had me reading lore for like six weeks, I'm sure that was a test. Like they thought I would get bored of it and want to go back to stay with Jody.. But I stuck it out and now i'm killing vampires"

"You think they'll make me read all that?" Asked Ben

"Probably yeah - anything to delay you actually hunting for as long as possible - although in your case.. they will probably have you help them look into your moms case too" Said Claire sadly "I'm sorry about that by the way"

"Yeah thanks" He said looking away from her trying not to think about it 

"So Dean's your dad, that's weird huh?" 

"Is it? I don't know, it's awkward for sure but now that I remember everything.. I guess there wasn't anyone else I was hoping it would be.. if that makes sense" He said

"Yeah" Said Claire "I get you. Don't tell him I said so, but Dean is pretty cool and a really good hunter" 

"How did you get into all this?" He asked

"Well.. Do you know Castiel?" Ben nodded "He is... er.. wow, never thought about how to explain this before. Ok - so........" She continued to explain to him about angels and Vessels and how her father had died whilst Castiel used his body as a vessel and then about how her mother had died and how she had been turned briefly in to a vampire.. 

Ben sat down and listened to her in awe, how had someone as young as she had been when her dad left, who'd been through all this, kept fighting and now was hunting and kicking ass?


	8. The Weird Family Film Night

Dean and Cass had appeared out side a large store. Castiel made to go in but Dean stopped him.

"Cass" He said

"Yes Dean" Asked Castiel stopping to look at him

"Can we take a minute here" He said softly "Just for a minute"

"Of course Dean, are you alright?" Castiel asked him with eyes full of concern

"I don't know, I mean yesterday when I had no kids and didn't think I'd ever have any being an angel now, I was ok with it.. But now finding out that I have a son whose life I've nearly missed all of.. I'm kinda angry and grateful at the same time.." Said Dean "I just figured if I ever had kids that I'd be there for them. I always thought I'd be a great dad and now I've missed it"

"You mean your angry that Lisa didn't tell you? That's understandable Dean, but you and he both know now. And its what happens from now that matters. Not what happened in the past. You didn't miss it because you didn't want to be there for him" Said Castiel reassuringly 

"He was my son and I left him!" Said Dean his voice cracking slightly "And now his mom's dead"

"You left them to protect them Dean. He was a child. You were a hunter. He had a mostly normal childhood and when the changling's attacked you were there and you saved him. Everything you did, for Lisa and for Ben - was FOR THEM. To protect them. I know how much it hurt you to leave them and I feel in part to blame for why you had to do that. So if you're looking for someone to blame, the fault is mine. But as I said it matters what we do now.. To be there for him and for Claire and prepare them for the roads ahead of them"

"I don't blame you Cass" Said Dean

"Then please do not blame yourself either" Said Castiel desperately "After everything that's happened to us, and to him.. you getting swallowed up in guilt isn't what he needs right now. He needs you to be strong and sure and show him how to look after himself against things like this"

Dean nodded and pulled Castiel towards him and in to a sweet kiss, one of Castiels hands finding the dip of Dean's lower back and resting there whilst the other flew to Deans face and through his hair

Dean pulled gently away "More later" he winked "Lets get the drinks and get back" 

 

*************************

Inside the bunker Sam, Charlie, Ben, Claire and Howler were all sat in the library waiting for Dean and Castiel to return. Charlie sprang up from her seat as the bluster of books signalled that the angels had indeed landed. 

"Bout time! What did you get?" She buzzed excitedly "No snacks?" She asked disappointed looking through Deans bag that was all just beer. Castiel tapped her shoulder and handed her the bag he had beer carrying which was filled with snacks, her face lit up "Oh yes, that's what i'm talking about" She said dipping her hand in the bag before passing it on to Ben and Claire.

"We should watch a film" Suggested Claire picking out some chips from the snacks bag and handing it to Sam "Something funny. You still got zoolander Dean?" 

"Yeah. I still have it" Said Dean his face now lighting up "Any objections? Nope.. Good" He answered himself quickly and dashed off to get the dvd 

Sam shaking his head at Claire said "Seriously Claire, again?" 

Claire laughed at him "Its totally worth for yours and Dean's blue steel impressions" Sam pulled a face at her and she laughed even harder "Yes - like that!" 

Dean came back into the room carrying the disc in one one hand and the case in the other, put the film in the dvd player and then seated himself next to Castiel who had a beer waiting for him.

Castiel watched through gritted teeth as Ben passed Claire a beer, but Dean put a hand on his knee under the table and he quickly forgot all about the underage drinking. 

They all watched the movie drinking and eating chips and dip - except Sam who to loud booing from everyone else had returned to the kitchen to get carrot sticks and had those with dip instead. 

"You are such a rabbit" Laughed Charlie at him when he had returned 

"Shhhurrrruuuupppp" Said Dean as his favourite part was about to come on (The Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too) His full body shook as he laughed and Sam looked at him smiling. He knew tomorrow it would get serious as they tried to work out what had happened with Lisa but for now, Dean seemed hell bent on having one relatively normal - ok weird family film night. And Sam was glad as he looked from him to his new nephew - who was also laughing at the film. Seemingly able for a brief time at least to forget what had happened a few weeks earlier.


	9. While the humans sleep, the angels play..

Everyone had gone to bed, Dean and Castiel were in their room talking.

"You know Dean. If tonight is anything to go by, I think Ben will fit in here.." Said Castiel

"Well yeah look at the group, I'd say we all have something in common on the lack of parents front" Said Dean bitterly

"That's not what I meant and you know it" Snapped Castiel 

"I know Cass, sorry" Said Dean looking at him

Castiel crossed the room and sat by Dean on the bed "I told you, you are going to have to be strong for him now"

Dean looked at Cass, taking in all of his beautiful face and feeling his breath on his neck "What would I do without you?" He asked him

Castiel smiled "What are you going to do with me is a far better question, Dean" 

Dean grinned himself into an easy kiss with Castiel. "I hope you never have to find out Dean, to be apart from you, I can't.."

"Shhhh" Hissed Dean biting down Castiels neck now gently

Castiel grabbed a fist full of Deans shirt and pulled him down on top of him as he lay back in to the bed. Dean pulls off Castiel's tie and ties his hands together and on to the bed frame. Castiel smiling with his eyes closed. He could of course, break out of his tie within a second, if he wanted but he is now Deans and completely compliant, opening his eyes to stare intently at him.  
He runs his hands down to Castiel's chest and unbuttons his shirt to see hardened nipples. Dean smiles down into Cass's eyes as he lowers himself down and plants kisses on his bare chest. He reaches a hand down to his pants to unzip them, staring at him while he starts pulling it down and gently running a hand over Cass's growing desire.

Dean shifts and sits back on Cass's crotch and rolls his hips slightly to feel Cass against his ass, as he takes off his shirt and Castiel can't help but moan softly as he stare's at Dean's tanned, muscular chest. He lays down on top of Cass again and kisses his lightly stubbled cheek and bites his lip gently. He takes his right nipple in his hand and rubs it under his thumb, teasingly. Cass is now groaning with desire as Dean finally shifts again to remove his pants and then his own. He leans over Castiel opening the draw next to bed and fumbling around in there for a moment and produces a small tub of lube he slicks some over his hand and when he finally settles back between Castiels legs he quickly slips a finger inside of Cass who gasp's lightly. He soon feels Castiel opening up to welcome him in and shifts back up the bed raising Castiel's legs and resting them against his shoulders. He wipes his lubed fingers over his now raging shaft and looks at Castiel as he slips in to him... 

Castiel's eyes close "Dean.. " He grunts.


	10. What you see..

As Dean looked down on Castiel he suddenly saw Lisa's face looking up at him. He jumped back from the bed with yell. Looking at her. 

"Whats wrong Dean?" Came her voice as Dean stared wide eyed at her face, as she sat up on the bed. Dean closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again to see Castiel looking at him with concern etched all over his face

"Dean? What's wrong?" He asked again breaking free of the tie on his hands, getting up and crossing the room to wear Dean was now stood against the wall 

"Cass?" Said Dean toughing his face to check it was really him

"What just happened? Are you alright?" 

"I, yeah. Sorry. I'm ok" Said Dean

"What was that?" Asked Castiel looking at Dean's pale white face

"Nothing" Said Dean unconvincingly, he didn't want to admit to Castiel that his ex had just popped in to his head as they were being intimate "Nothing, I'm fine" 

Castiel raised an eyebrow but knew better than to push it. Dean passed him and grabbed his pants very aware of how exposed he suddenly felt. He pulled them on and looked at Castiel 

"I'm sorry Cass, It's been a day. I guess my head is just else where right now" Said Dean not meeting his eyes as he pulled on a t-shirt

"Would you like to talk about it?" 

"No! No, thanks. I'm gonna take a walk, if that's ok?" Asked Dean 

"Of course Dean, whatever you need" Said Castiel "I could come with you?"

Dean looked at him sadly "I'm just gonna go and clear my head for a while, but thanks" He saw the crushed look on Castiel's face and felt shitty for how he was behaving but he just needed to be alone right now and try to work out what the hell had just happened.

Castiel pulled on his own pants and spoke softly "Whatever you need Dean" 

Dean managed to give a half smile before grabbing his shoes and walking out of the bedroom leaving Castiel alone to wonder what had just happened between them. 

Dean walked to the kitchen before pulling his shoes on, grabbing the last beer from the fridge and disappearing out of the bunker and reappearing in the grassy field that was on out side the bunker entrance. He opened the beer and took a long swig before lowering the can and rubbing the bridge of his nose with his free hand. What the hell had just happened? 

"I think you know the answer to that" A voice came from behind him and he whipped around, dropping his beer on to the grass as his eyes fell upon Lisa once again. 

"Lisa...?" Dean almost whispered 

Lisa tilted her head looking at him "Hello Dean, been feeling guilty?"

"How are you here right now?" He asked looking at her, not believing his own eyes. She didn't answer, instead just staring at him sadly

"What do you want!?" Asked Dean louder and more desperately

"To live" She answered "You said you'd keep us safe" 

"I know, I know I did, I'm sorry - I thought by leaving - "

"You promised you wouldn't let anything happen to us Dean" Said Lisa harshly cutting across him. He looked at her, mouth open but unable to speak. She narrowed her eyes at him "You lied to us. You lied to me. You lied to Ben" 

"I was trying to keep you safe, by staying away" Dean could hear his own words and how broken they were

"I died! So that you could play happy family's with your angel lover and our son" Said Lisa staring at him

"No.. it wasn't like that" Said Dean eyes glazing over

"That's just what you do though, isn't it. Tear families apart. Tear people apart. Do you think, that Sam would ever have gotten back into hunting if you hadn't turned up begging him that night? Do you think that Jess still would have died if Sam had been there to protect her? You pulled him away from her, when she needed him the most. You destroy lives Dean Winchester" 

Dean looked at her, his breathing ragged, having been hit with all the things he himself has thought so many times. As he opened his mouth to speak Lisa vanished. He looked about him, he was alone. He blinked out his tears and wiped his face on his sleeve, taking deep calming breaths. 

He took a few steps and then looked to see where he was heading and almost jumped out of his skin.. "No" He muttered looking at the figure before him now "Ellen?" 

"I should have known you'd turn out just like your daddy, he got my husband killed and you.. well thanks to you.. me and my Jo died. Never did ice the devil though did you boy? So tell me Dean, what exactly was the point in mine and Jo's deaths?!" Dean had never seen so much hate on Ellen's face, he could feel the venom behind her words knocking the wind out of him as she vanished and then he felt a chill behind and turned to face Jo who smiled sadly at him as she touched his forehead with her ghostly finger.

"I'm sorry Dean" He heard as he fell to the floor and everything went fuzzy and then black..


	11. What you remember..

Castiel was pacing the bedroom. Dean had said he was going to clear his head but how long did he need? It had been an hour and Castiel was beginning to worry. He had gotten dressed when Dean had left the room, attempted to read a book and given up finally tossing it across the floor in annoyance (then picked it up again and put it away in its proper place).

He was still pacing the room and thinking 'Should I go and look for Dean? If he is still clearing his head, that would probably annoy him.. Maybe I should just give him another couple of hours' and deciding that was what he would do he slumped grumpily in to the chair beside the bed and said out loud "I'll just wait here then" Pulling another book from Dean's shelf and opening it but not lowering his eyes to the pages instead keeping them fixed on the door as though willing Dean to walk through it. 

Two more hours pasted and Castiel had paced, showered, made the bed, tidied Dean's desk and was once again sat in the chair, with his arms folded in front of him and his eyes closed. Sure angels couldn't sleep but they still felt the relief of closing their eyes for a while sometimes. As soon as he heard a voice outside the door, his eyes snapped open and he had crossed the room and opened the door in no time.

"Oh crap, sorry" Said Ben turning at the end of the hall with Howler stopping by his feet "I didn't mean to wake you, just letting him out for a wee" 

"You didn't wake me" Said Castiel "Have you seen your father?" 

Ben cringed "I know he is my dad.. but I don't think we are at the me calling him dad or father stage just yet" 

"I understand" Said Castiel "Have you seen Dean?" 

"Er no I haven't but we haven't been out yet. Anything wrong?" Asked Ben

Castiel didn't know what to say to try and explain why he was worried, especially as this was Dean's son. "He just should have been back by now" 

Ben thought for a moment "He did take his car or just 'pop' out?" 

Castiel thought "I don't actually know. I will check" He vanished and reappeared almost instantly "It appears he 'popped' out"

Ben shrugged "I don't know then, have you looked outside?" 

Castiel shook his head slowly and walked along side Ben and Howler to the doors of the bunker. Once outside the doors Castiel began looking around for any sign of Dean as Ben turned to Howler and said "Go on" 

Howler took off, sniffing around for the perfect spot to relieve himself, once he had he continued to sniff around and to Ben's surprise started running away from them and off into the field. 

"Howler" Shouted Ben watching him get further away, Ben puzzled starts after him with Castiel following behind "Howler!" 

Howler suddenly stopped near a flattened down patch of grass, and as Ben and Castiel drew nearer there eyes fell on Dean's body laid out on the grass.

Castiel's eyes widened as he darted forward "DEAN" He shouted shaking Dean, but he didn't stir. Castiel looked at him feverishly "DEAN" he yelled again as Howler stepped forward sniffing at Dean's face. 

Ben who had frozen suddenly snapped out of it and asked "Is he...?" 

"No. I'd know. This is something else. I don't know what this is" Said Castiel adding "That's what worry's me. Go and wake Sam up, i'll take Dean back to his room"

Ben turned and ran back to the bunker with Howler running along side him as Cass bent over Dean and lifted him off the ground, disappearing and the reappearing by Dean's bed and dropping him on it carefully. He heard Ben run past his room and bang on a door further down the hall. 

"Whhhhhhaaaaaaattttttt?" Came Charlies voice -clearly not a morning person. 

"Sorry wrong room, where's Sam?" Said Ben his voice clearly giving away that something was wrong.

Charlie and Sam's voices could be heard now coming closer to Dean's room as Cass heard Ben trying to explain.

"He just wont wake up" Said Ben

"Angels don't go to sleep" Said Sam in a worried voice 

The door flew open and Sam, Ben and Charlie burst in to the room

"What happened?" Asked Sam looking to Cass

"He said he needed to clear his head and went for a walk, hours ago. And Ben and I just found him like this in the field, well Howler found him" Said Castiel 

Charlie walked over to Dean's side and looked at him. Pressing her lips together in thought "Well it can't hurt" She said out loud and she slapped Dean full force across the face

Dean woke up with a shout "Hey!" He shouted looking shocked "What the hell" 

Charlie looked round at Cass smiling "There" She said looking pleased with herself before turning back to Dean who was frowning at her 

"What was that for?" He asked Charlie

"Well you wouldn't wake up Dean?" Said Charlie as though he was being silly for being annoyed that she had just slapped him

Castiel moved forward and sat beside Dean on the bed and reached for his hand

"Alright Cass" Said Dean looking uncomfortable and moving his hand away before Castiel's could reach his. He sat up so he didn't feel so exposed and suddenly his eyes fell on Ben

His face dropped "Ben?" He said

"Yeah?" Said Ben feeling strange under Deans stare

"What are you doing here?" Asked Dean, Charlie and Sam exchanged dark looks

"Er.. what?" Asked Ben completely dumbstruck

"Dean" Said Castiel "What were you doing in that field?"

"What field? What are you doing here Ben? Where's your mom?" Asked Dean looking around for someone, anyone to answer him

Castiel stood up suddenly, looking frantically to Sam.. but Sam was a shocked as he was, as was Charlie and Ben looked like he had just been slapped in the face


	12. When Angels Cry

Dean looked around at them, his annoyance draining away and concern taking over.. 

"Guys?" He asked looking at each of their face's "What's going on?" 

Charlie sat down on the side of Dean's bed and looked at him sympathetically "Dean" She said softly "What's the last thing you remember?" 

Dean looked from her face to Sam's, who's expression said that Charlie was indeed being serious "I.. "Dean's eyes darted around as though he was searching from something "I remember going to a motel with Anna - I guess I drank to much as I don't remember how I got home. When did you two get here?" He added looking at Ben and Charlie

Castiel took a step back and almost fell against the wall, Dean had somehow forgotten their entire relationship. He looked at Sam who was looking at him with painfully obvious pity. Castiel thought for a moment about leaving, then snapped himself out of it thinking that Dean - his Dean would have to still be in there somewhere and he'd never forgive himself if he quit on him that easily. So he stood up straight, walked over to Dean and attempted to heal him, not sure what would happen but figuring it was worth a shot. 

As he healed him he knew it hadn't worked, Dean looked at him oddly before speaking "Thanks Cass but the slap really wasn't that bad" 

Sam looked at his brother "Er Dean, somethings happened and I know this is going to sound crazy but that night at the motel.."

"Wait!" Said Charlie suddenly realising something "Dean, I know you wont like this but you have to stay here a minute ok?" She stood up and urshered everyone out of Dean's room and down the hallway "What are you going to tell him?" She asked looking at Sam "You realise he wont even remember becoming .. " She nodded her head towards Castiel in case Dean was somehow listening.

Sam closed his eyes "Oh.." as it dawned on him to that Dean didn't even remember becoming an angel, never mind anything else. 

Ben looked around at them all "How could this happen?" 

"It has to be a witch? Right?" Said Charlie looking at Sam 

"Rowena?" Asked Cass thinking out loud

"That doesn't make sense" Said Sam "Anyway he's not going to sit in there long we need to decide what we are going to tell him and fast" 

"The truth!" Said Charlie "Just - not all of it" 

Castiel looked at her "He doesn't remember that we are together" 

Suddenly Claire was stepping out of her room looking mildly surprised at the hushed meeting that was taking place outside her door "Er... morning?" She said confused

"Deans lost his memory, the last four years. Don't say anything to him about anything until we figure this out" Said Charlie filling her in quickly as Claire's mouth dropped to the floor 

"What???" She said astounded "How?"

"We don't know yet" Said Sam "I need to go and talk to him. I'm not going to say anything about you or Lisa or you or angels" he said pointing from Ben to Castiel. He turned and headed back to Deans room. 

"Sam.. " Said Castiel sadly "You may want to take him to the kitchen or something so i can remove my belongings from his room before he starts to ask why all my things are in there" Sam looked at him with that same awful pity in his eyes and nodded. Before knocking on Dean's door and going inside. The others all pushed hurriedly into Claire's room and waited. They heard foots steps passing her room a few moments later and then Charlie checked the hallway.

"Ok Cass" She said "All clear"

He vanished and appeared again in Dean's room. Looking around him sadly. How could this be happening. It seemed as though someone had deliberately targeted his and Dean's relationship, but why? 

He guessed it was lucky really that he didn't have to many belongings or Dean may have already noticed that they were in his room. He took his spare shirt out of Dean's wardrobe and picked up the angel blade that was lay at the bottom of the wardrobe next to Dean's shoes. A few other bits and bobs here and there and he was done. Suddenly realising how small his life would look if he lost Dean. He cast one last woeful look around before reappearing in his old room. There was no window in his old room, so it was dark and cold. He sat on the bed, dropping the items he had taken from Dean's room to the floor. He had only cried a handful of times in his long life. Once after Metatron had tricked him into helping him cast out his brothers and sisters from heaven and once when he had briefly been a human shortly after the fall and Dean had turned him away from the bunker, he hadn't cried in front of Dean of course, but after he had left and realised he was completely alone, as a human with no clue how to survive.. the tears had fallen. And now. Feeling that same emptiness again. Dean hadn't turned him away this time - he had completely forgotten him. Which was so much worse. Silent tears fell on to his cheeks and rolled slowly down his face as he sat perfectly still in the darkness.


	13. The First Piece Of The Puzzle

Sam had knocked on Dean's door and opened without waiting for an invitation, he looked over to his brother who had clearly been pacing the room.

"Sam" Said Dean looking up 

"Lets get some coffee and talk" Said Sam 

Dean looked at him "You look different. I didn't realise it before, but you look different" He said walking over to his brother and looking at him closely "What happened to you?"

Sam turned away from him "I don't look different Dean, I look older. Come with me. I'll explain what I can"

Dean frowned but followed him out of his room and shut the door. He followed him along the hallway to the kitchen and watched as Sam began making coffee. When he turned back around though he was no longer Sam

"Lisa?" Said Dean suddenly 

"You remember?" Sam said but Dean only heard Lisa's voice 

"Of course. What are you doing here? And why is Ben here? Are you alright?" Asked Dean looking at Sam but seeing only Lisa

Sam sighed "Dean its me" 

Dean seemed to snap out of it and looked at Sam suddenly wide eyed "What's wrong with me Sammy?" 

Sam looked at him wondering what to say, but as Dean looked back at him his face melted away and there where Sam had been stood.. was John Winchester.

"Dad!?" Asked Dean fresh fear ripping through him and his breathing jumpy 

Sam said "Dean! its me snap out of it" But Dean only heard John speak "You were meant to look after your brother. You were meant to protect Sammy.. And you let him say yes... to Lucifer. What is wrong with you!"

Dean looked in horror as Sammy (John) walked towards him and grabbed his arms, shaking him. "DEAN!" yelled Sam "Whatever your seeing its not real! Snap out of it" But Dean was still seeing John and heard "You failed your brother DEAN. You failed me. I died for you and you failed me!"

Dean's eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed. Just as Charlie, Claire and Ben had reached the kitchen door, they'd heard Sam shouting and come running. 

"What happened?" Asked Ben looking down to the floor where Dean was sprawled

"He was talking to me like he thought i was our dad" Said Sam "Don't!" He added quickly as Charlie had gone to slap Dean awake again. Her hand froze in mid air as she turned to look up at Sam "Somethings going on and we can try and figure it out while he is out of it. What's the point in waking him up yet when he doesn't know what day it is?"

"Maybe whatever this spell is.. it takes away more memory the longer he is asleep.. " Said Claire 

"I wish you hadn't said that" Said Sam looking down at his brother and thinking 'what if she's right?' "Didn't Cass say he'd been gone about four hours? What if an hour asleep equals a year in memory's?" 

Charlie threw her head back and let out a big sigh "What the frack is going on!?" 

"Where is Castiel?" Asked Sam looking around

"He was taking his stuff out of Dean's room" Said Claire "I'll go and find him" she ran off down the hallway to Deans room, pushing open the door and finding it empty she made her way further down to Castiels old room and knocked "It's Claire" 

"Come in" Said Castiel from inside, wiping his face quickly 

Claire opened the door and frowned turning on the light "What you sat in the dark for? Come on Sam needs you, Deans passed out again" Castiel rose quickly and followed Claire to the kitchen 

"What happened?" 

"He thought I was our dad and Lisa.. " Said Sam looking at Castiel who suddenly remembered how Dean had practically lept away from him when they had been in bed together.

"I think that may have been what happened last night" He said "We were... fine and then he didn't seem to know where he was or who I was. That's when he said he was going to go and clear his head" 

"Do you think that the amount of time he is asleep affects how much memory he loses?" Asked Claire

"No" Said Castiel

"What makes you so sure?" Asked Sam looking at his brother and hoping that Cass was right and that Dean wasn't currently losing more memory's as he lay out cold at their feet?

"I feel sure because it seems that someone has taken him back to a very specific date, namely the night we got together. That can't be a coincidence. This is someone who knows either Dean or myself and wants to hurt one or both of us for personal reasons" His mind wandering again to Rowena but he dismissed the thought "It is my belief that someone doesn't want us together" 

"Another Angel?" Asked Sam 

"It is possible but, why now? They all accepted it. Why would they do this now. I feel like we are missing a key clue to this, but i don't........" Castiel looked at Ben suddenly and an expression of dawning realisation crossed his face "You" 

"ME??" Asked Ben looking accused 

"You are the clue. The first night you stay here and this happens. This has something to do with you and what happened to your mom" Said Castiel tilting his head to the side as he looked at Ben  
"I think, whoever killed your mom is doing something to Dean. We need to know exactly what happened Ben. Every detail of what happened. We are going to find your mom's killer and we are going to save your Dad"

Ben nodded "Ok.."


	14. If I only had a Brain, a Heart, the Nerve

Ben described to them the horrible details of how he had found his mom's body after taking Howler out for a walk one evening. He had come home to find her lying lifeless on the ground with a knife in her chest. Later the police had told him that the stab wound to the heart was not what killed her and that she had died from a puncture wound to her head and even more disturbingly - she was missing a large portion of her brain. 

"Kitsune" Said Sam going through monsters in his head that could fit the crime "Kitsune eat human brains" He added looking apologetically to Ben who had already looked upset at having to relive the night his mother had been killed and now looked as though he was going to throw up. 

Claire gripped his hand "I'll get you some water, or something stronger?" 

"Water is fine" He said in a weak voice

"Sorry Ben" Said Sam

"Why would they stab her in the heart if she was already dead?" Asked Charlie looking thoughtful "Doesn't that seem.... you know.. kinda personal?" 

"Amy" Said Sam putting his head in his hands and suddenly standing up

"Whose Amy?" Asked Claire placing a glass of water on the table for Ben

"She was my friend when we were kids. She was a Kitsune, she worked in a morgue though and only took brains from people who were already dead. But she had a son. And he got sick and she started killing people to get him fresh meat. She killed three people. Criminals. To heal her son and I found out and went to confront her about it, but she promised me that because he was better she wouldn't need to kill anyone again.. but then Dean found out and he.. he didn't trust me at the time and went after her after I asked him not to. He killed her, by.."

"Stabbing her in the heart?" Asked Ben with a shudder "In front of her kid?" 

"I don't know if he was there, I hoped he wasn't. Dean never said. But he is the only person who makes sense right now. Like Charlie said this is personal. And if he... I can't think what his name was.. If he wanted to 'Call out' Dean.. finding someone that Dean had loved and doing this.. would be a sure way to do it... Jacob. His name was Jacob. Jacob Pond" 

"Ok, so say it is this Jacob guy.. how would he mess with Dean's head and why would he take away his relationship with Castiel?" Asked Claire 

"I don't know" Said Sam "There has to be a witch involved or he has got a spell from a witch or something like that.." 

"How do we find him?" Said Castiel 

"Well what are you going to do, when you find him?" Asked Sam

"I would have thought that would be painfully obvious" Said Castiel looking at Sam through narrow eyes 

"Yeah dude, he killed Ben's mom. And he is voodooing the crap outta your brother" Said Charlie

"Because Dean killed his mom.. I'm not, No Ben, I'm not justifying what he has done here at all. I'm just saying maybe we should think about this for a minute before we go off trying to kill him"

"All due respect Sam, and I'm sorry that you lost your friend, but she was killing people and my dad stopped her, which is kinda what you should have done in the first place. You think that if her son had gotten ill again the following year that she would have thought twice about killing someone to save him? Yeah ok, they were born kitsune or whatever and I'm sure she tried to keep from killing people as long as she could but this isn't like trying to quit smoking and if you have a cheeky smoke on the sly it only affects you. She was KILLING people and you know what, I even get her wanting to save her kid over sparing some criminal. But my mom. SHE was fucking innocent and he killed her to 'call out' Dean. Well I'm sorry but he's already taken one of my parents and I have just as much right to want him dead now, as he did with my dad. So Fuck him. He could have chosen to live his life and not kill, he could have chosen to just go after Dean. But he killed my mom and God only knows who else he's killed. So i'll be fucked if i'm going to let him take my dad from me now too"

Everyone looked at Ben in shock not only was this the first time he had called Dean his dad. But he was clearly not going to let Jacob get away with what he had done to his mom. 

Charlie, Claire and Castiel all looked at Sam.

"Sam you still feel loyalty to your friend - I understand this is difficult" Said Castiel softly "But Ben is right.. how do we know that Lisa is this Jacobs first victim? As if her death alone wasn't enough cause to put a stop to him. She was innocent and he killed her in cold blood. And Ben and I are innocent in this too... And I want Dean back"

"We all want Dean back Cass" Said Sam

"I know. But you are still his brother. Losing four years with you doesn't change the bond you and he have, nor with Charlie. Claire, he is closer with now. Ben, he just found out is his son. And for me? Our entire relationship doesn't exist to him now. I am not ashamed to admit that I want him back for some selfish reasons. But they aren't the only reasons. He confided in me that he felt ashamed that he had missed most of Ben's life.. and now he doesn't even remember that he is his son. We need to fix him" Said Castiel finally plucking up the nerve to voice his fears that he had lost Dean


	15. Heaven help us

Sam looked around the room. He knew they were right. If it was indeed Jacob who had done it. He nodded "Ok, so when we find the evidence that it was him. I'll do it" 

Ben looked at him "You didn't even want us to do it and now you wanna do it?" 

"I think its more that, he wants it to be done in as humane a way as possible" Said Charlie looking at Sam

"I owe that to Amy" Said Sam "She saved my life once"

Ben let out a unimpressed huff "You know what.. fine, not that he showed any humanity to my mom when he was eating her!!! But hey as long as he is dead and can't hurt anyone else.. And Sam not that I don't trust you'll do it if you say you will but I want to see him afterwards"

"You what?" Asked Sam shocked

"Just saying you let one of these things go before and look how that turned out" Said Ben coldly "I don't think that wanting to be sure the job is done is to much to ask for" 

Sam didn't say anything, he knew Ben was angry and also worried about Dean, but he was surprised at how cold him seemed.

"Do you think killing him will break whatever voodoo he has going on with Dean?" Asked Claire as they all looked down and Dean's body that was still on the floor "Because.. if it wont and he wont tell you how to fix Dean.. the humane thing goes right out the window"

"Sam" Said Castiel who had been listening to them all quietly "I would like, with your permission to relocate Dean to heaven, they have a hospital for angels and I can ask Balthazar to keep an eye on Dean" 

Everyone looked at Castiel in surprise at his sudden change of topic

"Heaven has a hospital?" Asked Sam

"You know they have a prison? Wouldn't it make sense for them to have a hospital?" Asked Castiel confused by Sam's confusion

"Yeah - I guess it would. I just never thought about it" Said Sam who then turned to Ben "Would that be ok with you?" 

"I don't know as much about angels as you. But if he would be safer there while we go and find the kitsune, then i'm all for it" Said Ben seeming calmer now

"If you think they could help him Cass" Said Sam

"No, I tried to heal him, he was unresponsive to my touch. But they can keep him safe, if he were to wake up and we were all gone.. " He trailed off before adding "But I have been thinking.. We could bring in Rowena?" 

"The witch?" Asked Claire 

"You really think she'd want to help?" Asked Sam unconvinced

"No, but then who said we'd give her the choice.." Said Castiel "We can either promise her something she wants or threaten her"

Charlie looked at Castiel "Do we have anything she'd want?" 

"Probably. But I wouldn't know what that might be without asking her. And then depending on what she wanted - whether it would be wise to grant it her" Said Castiel thinking "Anyway for the time being, do I have your permission to take Dean to heaven?" He looked from Ben to Sam so they understood he was asking them both

"Yes" They said at the same time

Castiel nodded and knelt down next to Dean putting a hand on his shoulder and gripping him tightly he vanished. 

"Heaven has a hospital" Said Claire amused "Go figure" 

 

**********************

 

"Cassie" Said Balthazar as he appeared in front of him in heaven "Oh and .. whats happened to your hubby Cassie, not looking to good?" 

"Hello Balthazar. Dean's under some kind of spell and he needs protecting. I want to put him in heavens hospital until we can find a way to restore his memory's" Said Castiel matter of factly

"Lost memory's you say? How long back?" 

"Four years" Said Castiel

Balthazar looked at Castiel sadly "You're entire time together?"

Castiel took a deep breath and nodded 

"Very well. I will watch over him for you"

"Thank you Balthazar" Said Castiel 

"I would hate to be the one who got in between you and your Dean Winchester" Said Balthazar smiling "I don't see it ending well for whoever did this"

"Neither do I" 

"Lets get him in a bed then and you can go and kick ass" Said Balthazar leading the way to the angel healing centre

Castiel placed Dean carefully down on to a bed hoping that the next time he saw him he would have a cure for his memory loss "And Blathazar if he wakes up.. you should know he is seeing things. People who aren't there" 

"I wont let him leave.. or allow him to harm himself Castiel. You have my word" 

"Thank you" Said Castiel tearing his eyes off Dean and moving away from the bed and heading out through the doors


	16. The father I lost and the father I gained

Castiel reappeared in the kitchen of the bunker "Balthazar has given me his word he will watch over Dean" He said before adding "If no one objects I would like to work on returning Dean's memory's to him" 

"What about about this Jacob guy?" Asked Ben looking at Castiel

"I feel positive the four of you will be able to manage and if you need any assistance, just pray for me. But if he fails to have an answer for helping Dean it would be good to already be working on a backup. I'm aware that you, Ben will be first in line - should being humane prove not an option - when dealing with this kitsune. So I think my time is best spent trying to locating Rowena and getting her to help Dean"

"Makes sense Wings, just keep ya ears on" Said Charlie patting Cass on the shoulder

"If any of you get hurt, even something you don't think to be serious. Call for me" Said Castiel wondering suddenly how Dean would feel about them letting his son join them on a hunt when he'd had no training yet. 

"Before you go... " Said Claire "Can I talk to you a minute?" 

"Of course Claire" Said Castiel following her from the kitchen "Is something wrong? Other than the obvious, that is" 

"I just thought, you're going to see a witch.. might come in handy to have an anti-hex hex bag" She had led him in to the dungeon room and pulled open the old trunk. Grabbing a bag and throwing it to Castiel who caught it "Maybe we should all just start carrying these around seen as whats happened to Dean" She said thoughtfully pulling out the remaining two bags "How would he have put this hex or spell on him by the way? Wouldn't he have had to be near him or something?" 

Castiel thought for a moment "Good question, it must have happened when Dean and I were at Ben's house. Maybe there was still some thing of Deans there that he.." Something to dawn on Castiel "Maybe he wasn't there to hurt Lisa at all. Maybe she caught him and he panicked. Maybe it was only about finding something that had belonged to Dean. Not that that changes things really, she is still dead, but maybe it wasn't as cold blooded as I thought" 

"But wouldn't that have meant he knew when you were at Ben's house?" Asked Claire

"He must have been there, or near by" Said Castiel mouth dropping open "That would explain how he knew that Dean and were together. But why hex Dean and not just kill him?" 

"Well didn't Sam say he was talking to him as though he was his dad and Lisa?" Asked Claire 

"Yes" Said Castiel

"Well that kinda makes sense, if you really wanted to make someone suffer, if that was all you'd thought about since you were a kid who's mom was killed.. you wouldn't want to kill that person, not straight away at least, you'd want them to feel as lost and alone as you had" She said a little to easily "He probably wanted Dean to forget you so he didn't have that love anymore. Kinda metaphorically stabbing him in the heart. But seems to me he got that the wrong way round, he should have made you forget Dean... That would have hurt Dean more than just not having been with you in the first place and having people haunt Dean, reminding him of his past so called mistakes? Just to really make him go nuts"

"Did you want that?" Asked Castiel looking sheepishly at her

"I thought I did, I mean the way I saw it you took my dad from me and I hated you for a long time. But now I know that is was the other way around - Like angels can't inhabit a vessel without permission right? So my dad helped you. And even though he died, he died to help save the world. So now when I look at you I don't see you taking him from me anymore, I see him making the choice and how he was a hero and how you did too, you made the choice to stand against your family, against Lucifer and you helped stop him. So even though you still look like my dad, that's not the only thing in common you had. You both helped to save the world" Said Claire smiling at him 

"Claire I had no idea you felt - all these things" Said Castiel softly "I know I am not him, but I will always be there for you, whenever you need me, for whatever you need" 

Claire grinned at him "I know. But it's not me that needs you right now, its Dean. So kick ass with this witch" 

Castiel smiled at her "You're the second person today to tell me to kick ass" he laughed suddenly thinking he'd have to introduce Balthazar to Claire one day. 

She grinned at him "Come on then" As they headed back to the kitchen. She threw the other anti-hex hex bag to Ben "If Dean wakes up and finds his sons been hexed we will be sorry" Said Claire to explain

"I'm going to go now. You should start looking for Jacob near Ben's house, we think he might be somewhere around there and thats where he hexed Dean" Said Castiel looking at Sam and then to all of them added "Good luck and call if you need me" and with that he vanished


	17. The King

"Hello feathers" Came a drawling voice as Castiel entered the dank room "You don't write, you don't call.. What's a girl to think?" 

"Crowley" Said Castiel stiffly as he walked towards him

"And where is your handsome young pool boy?" Asked Crowley - he enjoyed winding up the angel. Castiel narrowed his eyes at him dangerously, Crowley threw up his hands in fake innocence "Alright, ok.. no foreplay. Straight to it then, what can I do for you feathers?" 

"I need to speak to your mother" Said Castiel looking around as though he expected her to suddenly appear before him "Where is she?" 

Crowley's face dropped in disappointment "Are you holding out on me?" He said taking a step towards Castiel 

"I don't understand" Said Castiel looking back to Crowley

"Why do you want to speak to my mother?" 

"I need her help"

"You don't think I can help?" Said Crowley grumpily "I am the King" 

"You can help" Said Castiel, Crowley's face perked up "You can find Rowena for me" Crowley's face dropped again and he huffed.

"How do you know I couldn't help" 

"I require a witch, to help restore someone's memory's" Said Castiel "You are not a witch" 

"Ah I see. That's why you're acting like you have a pole up your backside. Someones taken the tip-ex to Dean's memory" He said figuring it out and trying to hold in a laugh

Again Castiel narrowed his eyes at Crowley who promptly straightened his face "Where is Rowena?" He demanded

"I don't know where the wicked bitch- excuse me, witch is. But I can find out easily enough" He walked over to the doors and yelled "Does any demon have eyes on Rowena? No?!! Well bloody well find her. Today!"

"Thank you" Said Castiel 

"You see, I can be helpful.. " Said Crowley "I'll even tell you where she is when my demons find her.. If you tell me whats going on?"

"Dean has been hexed" Said Castiel trying to keep the worry out of his tone "By a kitsune"

"I assume that this kitsune is no longer among the living?" Said Crowley amused "Even I know better than to mess with those Winchesters"

"Sam is dealing with the kitsune. I am trying to find a way to restore Dean's memory's" Said Castiel as Crowley nodded listening absentmindedly scratching his chin with a finger

"Exactly how bad is he?" Asked Crowley out of interest

"He remembers nothing of the last four years" Said Castiel knowing this time he had failed to keep the bitterness from his voice

"They really did a number on him then" Said Crowley "Is there a witch involved?"

"Possibly. Or he has just picked up a spell from one" 

"How is Dean taking the memory loss. Does he remember becoming an angel?"

"He is unconscious in heavens hospital" Said Castiel

"Have you tried kissing him?" Said Crowley who wiggled his eyebrows as he added "You know break a spell with true loves kiss?" 

"Shut up Crowley"


	18. Jacob Pond

Jacob ran his fingers threw his hair and rubbed at his eyes, the black bags underneath them making him look like a crazed drug addict. He paced the room again, glancing out the window, and up the street. His fingers twitching. 

What was taking them so long. Maybe his clues had been to vague.. No, they would come. He knew his spell would have been in full effect by now. He knew Sam Winchester would come for him... He was counting on it. He began going over his speech again in his head. This was his moment. His whole life had been building up to it and it was finally here. He'd barely slept in weeks, since killing that woman, in this very house, a well placed pawn in his plan. It had worked, Dean had resurfaced. He had been able to cast his hex on him and by now he would be a dribbling insane mess. Jacob smiled to himself. He had given his witch friend the letter containing the cure. He had instructed her to get it to the hunter Garth Fitzgerald the following day, if of course she saw the signal. It was almost over and he could feel himself pacing as he waited impatiently for Sam Winchester and who ever else he brought with him to arrive. 

He checked the street again. Nothing yet. He waited.. They would come. 

Sure enough an hour later as he glanced out of the window - he froze. They were here. Headed straight for the house. Ben's house. He took a deep calming breath and steadied himself as he watched through the netting of the upstairs window. He needed them to come in to the house at the same time for this to work, and he hadn't counted on there being four of them but it was to late to do anything about that now. He noticed that the man Dean had appeared with in the street two days earlier wasn't with them. That was annoying. 

He watched as they walked towards the front door. As the man who had lived here turned the key and stepped inside along side Sam Winchester and the two girls closely behind. They were all in. A wicked grin crossed his face as he heard four thuds as they hit the floor. "Show Time" he muttered to himself, grabbing the duct tape off the window and walking calmly down the stairs. 

 

**********************

Ben opened the door and stepped inside as the others followed behind him closely. He suddenly felt his legs lock together and his arms pinned to his side by some invisible force he fell forward and hit his head on the floor. He tried to speak but found he couldn't open his mouth. He looked at Sam who had fallen next to him but was facing the other way and seemed to be unable to move himself. That's when he heard the foot steps coming down the stairs towards them.

"Welcome, I'm glad you made it. I was beginning to worry" Said Jacob as he reached the bottom step. He stepped over Ben's body and knelt besides Sam's lifting his head by his hair so he could look at him properly "Sam Winchester, It's nice to finally meet you. I've met your brother Dean before of course, but you're here so I imagine you already know what I'm talking about" He let go of Sam's hair and his face hit the floor hard. They heard the sound of the duct tape unwinding as Jocob began to wrap Sams hands together behind his back. He lifted him up, with only mild difficulty as Kitsune are generally stronger than humans and sat him in a chair "There. That's better" He said going back over to the three bodies on the floor and repeating the process with Charlie next, then Ben who though he couldn't speak hissed through his teeth when Jacob touched him and then finally Claire. 

He then stood in front of them. His moment, had arrived. "Now that you're all sitting comfortably.. lets begin" The four figures in the chairs all glared at him. 

As he ducked behind the kitchen counter and pulled up a large petrol container. "You're all here to help Dean Winchester" He said leaning on the container "You're all here because you're the good guys right? I'm the monster in this story that you had come to kill and save your brother or friend.. Dean from. Thing is. Dean was never in any real danger. After walking into that room so long ago and seeing him standing over my dead mothers body. I told him i'd come for him one day, that the only person I'd ever kill would be him.. But then I had to go on the run, robbing from fresh graves to survive. Homeless, alone. And I realised.. If i killed Dean, if i ended him quickly as i had thought i would, his pain would be over.. And I would have nothing left. No one to hate. No one to love. Nothing. So I came up with a new plan.. I wasn't going to kill Dean, I was going to make him feel, how i felt" 

He began to slowly unscrew the cap of the container


	19. Fighting Fire With Fire

The cap of the container in one hand, he looked back to his hostages. 

"You see I never wanted to kill anyone, neither did my mom. But to save me she killed three people. One of which she had stopped from attacking a young woman.. You could say she was cleaning up on the human side of things.. I mean you hunters, see a 'monster' kill a human and lose your shit over it.. forget that the human was a would be rapist, forget that the 'monster' was a caring mother breaking her own promise to herself to never kill, to save her son.. You think you're above everything else because your human? And only your rules matter? Well anyway, thanks to Dean. I grew up alone. And eventually I had to kill.. which wouldn't have happened if i still had my mother to get me food from the morgue. So I told this girl, this innocent girl who had stopped to ask me if I was Ok. She asked me why I was doing this to her? Why I was dragging her from the path and in to the woods.. and I told her. What's happening to you now, Is because of Dean Winchester. I've said it to everyone I've killed since. Twelve people. Including Lisa, she was the only one who actually knew who he was" 

Ben grunted angrily 

"I'm sorry I can't hear you. You see I had this house spelled. Any humans that come in here today.. Wont be able to move there body's at all.." Said Jacob sickly "You should be able to speak soon though. I felt like I should answer any questions you might have, you know, kinda as a last request thing. But while we wait for that..." He started splashing petrol around the empty living room in Ben's house. Slopping some up the curtains and over the counter in the kitchen. Then flinging the container across the floor and letting what was left trickle out of it on its own. 

"Oh I forgot to mention, my friend will be sending instructions on how to cure Dean to your hunter pal Garth tomorrow. You see, its a three part spell and the beauty of it, was that firstly Dean would be haunted by all of his failures of the past, like i have been. Secondly, that he would lose four years of his life.. That's how long i was alone and homeless for, and thirdly and most deliciously that he would forget the person he loved above all others, like i did. I can't even picture my mothers face anymore. She's just gone. And you people who are here today are doing exactly what she did. She killed to save someone she cared about. She killed those human monsters, who were pushing drugs and would be rapists to save me. And now you're here.. come to kill the monster to save someone you care about" He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and added "I kinda saw that as me fighting fire with fire.. which lead me to this idea.. " He said stretching his arms wide around him. 

Sam could feel the pressure on his lips loosening, he hoped he would be able to speak soon or they were all going to die. 

"There will nothing left of you. Nothing but ash. And tomorrow your friend will help to cure Dean of two parts of the spell and he will remember the last four years and the fake ghosts will vanish.. to be replaced.. by you. You four will haunt him as he will know THIS was all because of him. It started with him and because you all tried to save him.. You all died" Jacob looked insane as tears built in his eyes as he drew to a finish "And he will be filled with the nothingness i felt. And then finally, I will be free. And he wont ever remember who he loves the most...because... I don't"


	20. Wonder Witch

Crowley had been wittering on about soul counts and unruly demons for almost half an hour as Castiel paced the room impatiently. He had checked his phone at least a dozen times and there was no news from the others. He wondered if Dean had woken up yet. He found himself grating his teeth as he paced. 

"the problem is that they just don't fear me anymore, not like they use to" He heard Crowley say as he momentarily tuned in to the world around him. He rolled his eyes and continued his pacing. 

"My lord" Came another voice, Castiel turning around to see a demon at the door, finally. "We have her" 

Crowley crossed the room anger on his face "You have her? You mean you brought her here? I asked you to find her" 

"This is better" Said Castiel walking towards the other demon who took a step back away from him "Where is she?"

"Oi feathers. I'm King" Snapped Crowley and then turning to the demon asked "Where is she?" 

"Being brought down now Sir" He said looking from Castiel to Crowley 

"KING!" Said Crowley

"Being brought down now, your highness" Said the demon bowing and scurrying back out of the room quickly

"See what I mean?" gestured Crowley as though this demons behaviour had proved something 

"Crowley. If your demons don't fear you any more, why don't you try earning their respect?" 

Crowley considered what Castiel had said for a moment before and saying "Sounds like a lot of work"

"You never were one for manual labour Fergus" Hissed Rowena as she was frog marched by two demons in to the room

"Mummy" Cried out Crowley in fake joy at seeing her "Leave us" He added to the two other demons and they turned to depart as Crowley caught the look Castiel was giving him he added "Good job boys" The two demons looked around astonished and seemed to quicken there pace as they walked out of the room.

"I demand to know why I was brought here Fergus" Quipped Rowena dramitcally

"Its Crowley and ask feathers" Said Crowley as he slumped back into his throne

Rowena rounded on Castiel and made a face that clearly said "WELL???" 

"Its Castiel" Said Castiel scowling at Crowley before turning back to Rowena "What do you know about memory wiping spells?"

"Oh you are joking me" Laughed Rowena "You've not pulled me in here to help those Winchesters.. AGAIN" 

Castiel glared at her "Dean has been hexed. And you're going to help me fix him" 

"Or what?" Snapped Rowena

"Or I will burn out your eyes" Growled Castiel finally reaching the tip of his patience and it over flowing into anger, behind him Crowley was smiling. 

"Oh yes, Please do that. I promise I wont ever call you feathers again"

"Shut up" Said Rowena and Castiel to Crowley at the same time, Crowley huffed. 

"Well deary my eyes are one of my best assets, lets see about this pesky memory spell, shall we?" Said Rowena

"Good" Said Castiel anger ebbing away slightly 

"Of course I will need to see the patient" She said in her sweetest, clearly faked, concerned voice

"He is in hospital" Said Castiel 

"Ah well" Said Rowena clasping her hands together "Lets go.." 

"In heaven" Added Castiel

"Ah" Said Rowena again pressing her lips together "That's where I draw the line" 

"You wouldn't be granted passage" Said Castiel to which Rowena pulled her most dramatic offended look "But i could bring him here?"

"Ding Ding, we have a winner. Go on then deary off you pop" She Said and Castiel vanished

Rowena turned to face Crowley "The moose or the squirrel?" She asked

Crowley grinned "The squirrel" 

Rowena rolled her eyes "Should have known, that boy gets more magical stds than any witch I've ever met"

Crowley chuckled "It hasn't been the same around here since you've been gone, whore" 

"Not a days past when I didn't dream of killing you, darling son of mine" replied Rowena quickly 

They were silenced by the sudden arrival of Castiel, who helped by Balthazar was holding up an unconscious Dean Winchester.

"Delightful" Said Rowena "Pop sleeping beauty on the table and lets see whats going on in that great big melon of his"


	21. The Three Spells

After a couple of minutes of 'examining' Dean, Rowena removed her hands from his face and opened her eyes. 

"Ok" She said turning to Castiel, Balthazar and Crowley "So it looks like there are at least two spells, maybe three at work here.. The first on is a haunting spell, really fun, I've used it myself on... ok not the right crowd.. A haunting spell. Which will make Dean see what he believes to be some of his biggest failures in life.. So he will say, see someone he couldn't save and they will tell him he is a failure blah, blah.. Easy enough for me to fix. The second one is a wee bit trickier.. that's his memory's. I'm going to take the haunting spell off him first and see whats left as I'm not sure but the memory spell seems split in to two factors" She placed a hand one either side of Dean's head again and began to mutter under her breath. 

After a few minutes she opened her eyes. "Ok.. That's done"

Castiel looked at her "Isn't there a sleeping spell on him? Angels don't sleep"

"No deary, this spell seems to have been designed for a human. If he was human he would have gone mad. But because he is an angel, i'm guessing he is in some kind of subconsciously, self induced coma to stop any further damage to his mind. Quiet clever really" She mused "Now quiet please" 

Rowena looked down at Dean and then glanced up to Castiel "I'm going to shock him"

"What!?" Said Castiel

"Its going to wake him up, and it's going to hurt for a moment. But it will also restore his memory's. There not gone, they are simply - how can i explain this - it's as though they are in a box in his head. I'm going to break the box open and then he will have access to them again. You understand?" She asked him

"I understand" Said Castiel looking down at Dean's face and wondering if he, and his and Dean's relationship was in that box. Safely being stored until it could be unlocked again "Do it"

Rowena nodded she put one hand either side of Dean's head and closed her eyes. Suddenly two white sparks of what looked miniature lightning bolts blazed from her hands and it to Dean's head, his eyes opened and Castiel could have sworn the lightning flashed through his eyes before disappearing and Dean gasped. 

"Son of a bitch" He cried out. Castiel put a hand on his chest to stop him from sitting up

"Dean" He said looking at him as Dean panted through the pain. As his breathing steadied he looked up at Castiel and then around to the three others stood above him

Castiel removed his hand and Dean slowly sat up "Well this can't be good" He said "Looks like I've just been woken up by ruby locks and the three bears" 

"Dean how are you feeling?" Asked Castiel tenderly desperate to add 'do you remember us?' but not daring to. 

"Like I've just been micro-waved" Said Dean rubbing his head "What happened?" 

Castiel suddenly heard someone screaming his name in his head "Claire" He breathed looking terrified suddenly and then turned to Rowena "Keep him here. Balthazar come with me. I need your help"

Balthazar nodded and the two angels vanished together

"You're welcome" Called out Rowena sarcastically after them


	22. Out of the frying pan..

Castiel and Balthazar landed, feeling the hot flames licking up at them instantly. 

"There" Shouted Balthazar pointing to the four body's with their heads sagging in to there chests. 

"No" Said Castiel moving through the hot flames towards his motionless friends. 

 

*******************

Three minutes earlier..

Sam's lips had been first to be freed from the spell "Jacob" He shouted "Don't do this" 

"Oh come on now Sam.. These are going to be your last words.. you can do better than that surely?" He said fiddling the lighter between his fingers and thumb

Sam looked at him desperately "Please. Your mom. You don't remember her? Well I do. And she was good" 

Jacob looked suddenly furious "I KNOW SHE WAS - AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT HER" He bellowed flicking the lighter open against his pants and glaring at Sam with hatred in his eyes "and look where it's gotten you!" He added before sweeping the lighter across his pants once more so that a spark lit and a tiny flame was born

"NOOO" Yelled Sam helplessly, still unable to move as he watched in what seemed like slow motion as Jacob threw the lighter across to the other side of the room under the curtains and made a run for the door. Slamming it behind him as the curtains caught fire. 

Charlies lips freed and she cried out "Sam?" 

Sam wanted to look at her but he still couldn't move, he was breathing fast, panicked.. he was going to die like his mom had, like Jess had, pinned, helpless and burning. 

Claires screams suddenly filled the room as her lips freed "CASTIEL" 

Ben and Charlie joined in with her chorus of "CASTIEL"'s 

Sam watched not only pinned by the spell but now frozen in fear as the flames licked quickly up the curtain. Some fabric burnt off it and they all watched as it fell in to a puddle of petrol on the floor and then the flames seemed to slither snake like across the floor towards them. 

Ben was now coughing as smoke began to fill up the room from the brunt out curtains, Charlie called to Sam again "What do we do?" She begged of him

Sam closed his eyes and spoke loudly but calmly "Pray" 

"CASTIEL" Screamed Claire again one last time before she too, succumbed to the coughing fit that had suddenly gripped them all as smoke filled their lungs

Then they were silent, each blacking out from the fume inhalation. None of them heard Balthazar as he shouted "There" 

Castiel grabbed Claire and Charlies shoulders and vanished at the same time Balthazar grabbed Sam and Bens shoulders and vanished. They were outside the house on the grass. 

Castiel saw someone running down the street away from the house "Jacob" He muttered in a voice he didn't recognise as his own. He knelt besides Claire and healed her, staying only long enough to see her eyes flicker.. she was alive.... then he vanished again.. to give chase to the kitsune. 

Balthazar then turned to heal Ben, Sam and Charlie....


	23. My Name Is Death

Castiel had been burning with a low anger since Dean had lept away from him in bed. Over the last twenty four hours this had grown like a weed taking over a tree, a darkness had taken hold of him. He had felt the crushing emptiness in Dean's eyes minutes earlier as he had looked at him. He didn't remember. Castiel had lost him. He had felt the blisters across Claire's face as he had healed her, her screaming still ringing in his head as she had called out to him. He had seen Kitsune running, attempting to flee and he knew in that moment.. He was no longer an Angel of the Lord. He was something else, something darker, he was Death. And he had work to do.....

 

*******************

Balthazar quickly patted out the flames on Sam's leg and healed him before moving on to Ben, he healed him and then Charlie. 

Claire was first to stir, her eyes flickering open. For a second she had been sure Castiel had been stood above her, but he wasn't there now, maybe she had just imagined it? She let her head tilt against the grass and watched as a man stood over Charlie and touched her forehead. 

She looked at him "Castiel?" she asked weakly

Balthazar nodded "He was here, he heard you. We got you out just in time" 

Claire closed her eye's and tears ran sideways down her face. As the others stirred she sat up slowly, head still foggy. 

Balthazar knelt besides her and steadied her with his hand "I am Balthazar. You are safe now. Come" He said taking hold of hers and Charlies hands he vanished taking them with him to where Dean, Rowena and Crowley were. 

They looked up in surprise at his sudden arrival as quickly as he had arrived he was gone again. And then seconds later back with Sam and Ben. Dean rushed forwards to them. Looking up at Balthazar. "What happened? Where's Cass?"

 

*******************

Jacob had stopped to catch his breath. He turned to look back at the smoke rising down the street. The signal. "It's over" He breathed as he turned back around to be suddenly face to face with Castiel

"You couldn't be more right Jacob" He said again not recognising his own voice, grabbing him and vanishing. He reappeared dragging the terrified Kitsune along with him by the scruff of his neck now. 

Jacobs eyes burned with fear "Where are we? What are you?" 

"I am Death" Said Castiel plainly 

"No" whispered Jacob.. "No you can't be" 

"It matters not what you believe Jacob. It matters not"

Jacobs face was white. His eyes seemed to have frozen open, wide. As his feet shifted along trying to get his footing but never managing it as Castiel walked on quickly, pulling him along. 

"Where are we?" Cried Jacob

"Kilauea volcano on Hawai" Said Castiel "The most active volcano in the world" 

"Oh my go..." 

"Don't. He can't help you now. You like to burn people alive Jacob? You like to stab innocent women in the heart? How did you think this would end for you?" 

Castiel stopped suddenly looking down at the monster at his feet. Venom in his eyes he tilted his head and withdrew his angel blade 

"P-p....please" Cried Jacob 

"You have dishonored your mothers memory. You have taken innocent lives. And you.. you have broken my heart. Allow me to return the favour" Said Castiel plunging his angel blade through Jacobs chest. He lifted him to his feet and suddenly they were flying again. Above the centre of the volcano. Jacob coughed blood into Castiel's face as he held him up with one hand and removed his blade with the other. Jacobs blood poured out over his hand. 

"You are nothing" Said Castiel as he let Jacobs body fall in to hot thick black smoke below "Be nothing" And he turned and disappeared mid air.


	24. Justice and Remembering

Castiel appeared, eyes dark, face spattered with blood, angel blade drawn blood dripping from it to the floor. 

"Castiel?" Asked Claire turning to look at him, mouth dropping open. 

Castiel stepped away from her as she drew near to him. "I just wanted to check you all got back OK" He said looking from Claire's tear streaked face, to Sam, Ben and Charlie.

And turning directly to Ben he said "Your mother has been avenged"

Then he turned to Crowley (who oddly was looking at him like he was impressed) and Rowena. Eyes passing over Dean completely. He just couldn't look at him and see all that nothingness again.

"Crowley, Rowena. Balthazar. Thank you" He said before lowering his eyes and disappearing again.

Rowena broke the silence and shock, by once again (but this time meaning it) calling out "You're welcome" 

Dean looked around him stunned "What the hell did I miss?" 

Sam stood up slowly "Dean? Are you...."

Rowena cut across him "I have been able to remove two parts of the spell. He is no longer seeing things and he has.. well most of his memory back" 

Sam looked at her gratefully "Thank you. About the third part. Is there any way you can..."

"No" Said Rowena "It is not something I can heal or mend" She looked genuinely sorry

"Wait what?" Said Dean looking confused "What the hell are you talking about? I feel fine" 

Claire had slumped down crying next to Ben who'd put his arms around her. He looked up to Dean "Do you know who I am?" 

"Ben" Said Dean "My son" 

Ben closed his eyes thankfully and smiled through tears of his own now "Yes. Do you know who that was?" He pointed to where Castiel had been stood a moment earlier 

"Yeah Cass" Said Dean

"And?" Said Sam looking to Dean

"My best friend" Said Dean frowning

Crowley stepped forward "Exactly, maybe he is alright after all" He gave a pointed look to Sam who's eyes narrowed slightly "Do you know who you are?" 

"I'm Dean Winchester. Sam's my brother and Cass is my best friend, Ben is my son and you're gonna get a punch in the face if you don't tell me why you're looking at me like that Crowley" 

"You are an angel" Said Balthazar suddenly "Do you remember" 

Dean laughed "Yeah, course. I became an angel to save Cass"

"Why" Said Balthazar

"Because he is my best friend" He looked at Sam questioningly "Its that? You didn't know if I remembered I'm an angel now?" 

Sam closed his eyes to lie to his brother "Yeah Dean. That was it" He opened his eyes again "Glad you're back" 

Dean sighed "Ok, so i'm back. Where the hell did Cass just disappear to?" 

Sam shook his head "I don't know" 

Balthazar spoke again softly "I have an idea where he may have gone. I just hope i'm wrong" He vanished before anyone could say anything


	25. Blame

Balthazar reached heaven and looked around him, a few droplets of blood on the floor told him what he needed to know. Castiel was here. "Oh brother, what are you doing?" He said sadly before following the blood through the doors towards Hannah's office. 

"Please Hannah" Came Castiel's voice 

"Castiel this would go against everything we have worked for, towards for the last four years" 

Balthazar burst through the doors wildly "Castiel!"

Castiel didn't meet his eyes, so he turned to Hannah "You aren't considering this? Are you?"

Hannah opened her mouth "I.. don't know" 

Balthazar looked at her "Spells can be broken" He grabbed Castiels face and turned it to his own "Spells can be broken Castiel. You do this, you're giving up"

Castiel looked at him "Doing this will keep me going. I can't look at Dean and see the utter indifference in his eyes again. Not like this" 

"You can't do this Hannah. Please. If you reprogram him we would never get him back" 

"Look at him Balthazar" Said Hannah calmly "He is in such pain" 

Balthazar's mouth dropped open "I can't believe this. I do not believe this Castiel. You must not do this" 

When he didn't get an answer he stormed to the door opening it and turning only to say "I believed in you brother" before disappearing through the door which slammed loudly. 

Hannah looked down at Castiel, who looked back at her... eyes full of pain.

"I don't want to break you Castiel" She said softly

"You would be fixing me" 

"No. There is another way.. Go and get yourself cleaned up" She said coolly 

 

***********************

 

Balthazar returned to where Sam, Dean and the others were still stood. 

Claire stood up, freeing herself from Ben's embrace "Where is he?"

Balthazar sniffed trying to stop a tear from forming but everyone had seen it. 

"Where is he?" Asked Sam stepping forward

"He is in heaven" Said Balthazar suddenly looking at Dean with a weird mix of pity and anger "He has asked to be reprogrammed" 

Claire broke down in to fresh sobs, Sam shut his eyes not believing. Dean looked at Balthazar as though he'd gone mad.

"Cass wouldn't do that. The whole point of me becoming an angel in the first place was.." Dean thought for a moment but the memory was fuzzy, why couldn't he remember "was.. to save him from that" 'but why'? he thought to himself.

Balthazar looked at him "You did save him Dean. But i'm afraid this time it's different. He wants it. He wants to forget.."

"Stop" whispered Charlie weakly through her hands

"Forget what?" Asked Dean

Balthazar considered "He wants to forget how to feel, he is feeling very deeply right now. He is in a great amount of pain"

Dean didn't understand and he was feeling angry. This couldn't be the Cass he knew, the Cass he knew never quit or gave up on anything "Can you help me take us all home?" Said Dean suddenly to Balthazar

"What?" sobbed Claire "We have to stop him. You have to stop him. You can go to heaven and talk to him"

"And say what?" Said Dean annoyed "Don't get reprogrammed Castiel, I only gave up my entire human existence once to save you from this but hey if you wanna throw that away because your feeling sad.... He knows that and is doing it anyway... So be it" 

Claire looked at him with eyes wide and spoke before she could stop herself "This is all your fault Dean"


	26. The Black Coat

Dean stared at Claire. Then glanced to Sam who he expected to look surprised on his behalf but he didn't. Dean glanced around the room. No one was meeting his eyes except Claire who was glaring at him. 

Dean sighed "I'm going home. When your ready to tell me what it is that I can't remember, come talk to me" He said disappearing

"Not to interrupt this weeks episode of 'full house'" Said Crowley "But did anyone notice when Rowena left?" 

Distracted by Crowley's question everyone looked to where Rowena had been stood and sure enough she was no longer there. 

"Maybe she just left?" Said Charlie in a quiet voice

"No" Said Sam "This would be exactly the kind of drama she would want to stick around to see" 

"Yeah, Moose is right" Said Crowley "She wouldn't just leave. Not dramatic enough, not her style"

"So then where the hell did she go?" Asked Claire 

 

************************

Dean returned to the bunker. Thinking, angry. He started pacing his room venting out loud "How is this my fault? Cass wants to push the reset on himself and go back to being a dick angel.. and i'm getting the blame?" He scratched his head as he finally settled on the edge of his bed. Thinking of Ben and Lisa suddenly, it had to have something to do with everything that had been happening, something to do with Lisa and Ben.. He couldn't see a connection between them and what Cass was doing now though. He opened his bed side draw and picked up the small pile of photographs in there. Ben and Lisa were smiling up at him from the top picture. He put the rest down on the top of the draw, when suddenly something caught his eye.. Dropping the photo of Lisa and Ben to the floor and picking up the top picture from the remaining pile. He stared at it in confusion. Then looked up to stare at the wall blankly. This was it, what he didn't remember... He disappeared and the photo of him and Castiel kissing fluttered down onto his bed. 

 

************************

Rowena had been watching the scene unfold before her eagerly. When a gentle hand touched her shoulder and suddenly she was in a play ground, a woman standing next to her. 

"What the bloody hell?" She spluttered 

"Rowena, you are about to enter heaven. Maybe we could leave the talk of hell down here?" Said Hannah "Don't worry, I just need your help. Then you can leave"

"Bloody angels and their demands" Said Rowena privately loving how important she seemed to be today

"My name is Hannah" Said Hannah taking her arm gently as they passed over and into heaven 

"And Castiel said I wouldn't be granted passage" She muttered amused, more to herself than anyone else

Hannah led Rowena down the bright white corridor to her office, where Castiel was waiting. He had obviously gotten himself cleaned up and changed his clothes. 

"Wheres your trench coat feathers?" Said Rowena looking at him frowning, this unnerved her slightly, not because she cared what the angel wore but because she had to admit, if only to herself that Castiel looked good. Castiel usually attired in a white shirt and beige trench coat, was now wearing an outfit that looked like it could have come from Crowley's collection. A crisp black shirt. A long black coat the collar of which flicked out slightly, if the flick out had been any higher he would have looked like he was trying to pull off a vampire look, but as it were he had it positioned just right. A dark grey tie. Black skinny jeans and ankle boots - also black. His hair blood free and gorgeously messy. 

Castiel's head didn't move his eyes just flicked to the side to look at Rowena "I felt it was time for a change" 

"Hmm" Said Rowena unable to stop herself from eyeing him up and down "Well this is in an improvement from that ghastly thing" 

Castiel tilted his head about to speak, stopping himself from defending his beloved trench coat just in time.

Hannah had sat in her chair and now lent forward leaning on her desk "Castiel tells me you healed Dean Winchester of a memory hex?" 

"Well mostly yes" Said Rowena with a half look at Cass "There was a complication" 

"Yes. I am aware. That's why I have brought you here. Castiel asked me to reprogram him, there is no going back from that though. No cure. So I thought.." Said Hannah slowly

"A memory spell?" Asked Rowena as it suddenly dawned on her "Something less permanent" 

"Yes and also it wont break Castiel in the same way that reprogramming would. He would still have the range of emotions he has now, just not his feelings for Dean Winchester. He would still be Castiel" 

"The Winchester's will not like it if I help you with this" Said Rowena

"We wont tell them" Said Castiel 

"Alright. Tell me exactly what you want me to do..." Said Rowena


	27. It's Castiel

Dean appeared before the group again. He walked directly towards Claire, eyes dead set. She was the one who would surely answer him. 

Claire looked up at him "Dean, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said.. " 

"What were we?" Asked Dean ignoring her and blocking out everyone else as he stood directly in front of her

"What are you..?" 

"Cass and me? What were we, what happened between us"

Claire sighed and looking down before meeting his eyes decided now was the time to come clean if they had any hope of saving Castiel. 

"You were together" Deans eyes widened "You never slept with Anna. Castiel and you were together and that's why you're an angel. Because angels and humans can not have relationships. You loved him so much to became an angel to save him" 

Dean blinked taking in what she had said "I remember liking him, I remember he slept with some reaper and I never told him how I felt.." 

Sam said "The night you went to the motel.. with Anna.. Castiel went to you and finally told you how he felt about you"

"I don't remember that" Said Dean "So now because I don't remember him and me being - together.. He is going to get reprogrammed and we'll all lose him?" 

"Unless you go and speak to him" Said Claire looking at him desperately "You could stop him Dean" 

Dean nodded and said "Yeah" Before disappearing 

 

***********************

Dean reached the play ground just as it started to rain as a bright white light flashed and Castiel.. and Rowena appeared "Ah shit" she said quietly. 

Dean looked at them questioningly, taking in Castiel's strange outfit

"Hello Dean" Said Castiel in monotone 

"Cass?" Said Dean still unsure if he was to late 

Rowena looked at Dean "You know?" she said eyes narrowing

"Yeah, I do" Said Dean

"Oh" Said Rowena "I'm sorry deary, its to late"

"They reprogrammed you?" Said Dean looking at Castiel in horror 

"No" Said Castiel plainly

"Would you be a lamb deary and wait for me over there for a minute so I can speak to Dean?" Rowena asked Castiel sweetly

"Of course Rowena" Said Castiel moving away 

Dean looked at her "What did you do to him?"

"He doesn't feel anything for you any more Dean. I'm sorry. He has been cleansed with the indifference he claimed you looked at him with. He knows who you are, but he doesn't feel anything for you" Said Rowena passing Dean as she walked over to where Castiel was waiting for her 

Dean turned round and his voice cracked as he called "Cass?" 

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him "It's Castiel" He said holding his arm out to Rowena who took it and they vanished, leaving Dean stood alone in the rain.


	28. Healed with a kiss?

Balthazar had taken Sam, Ben, Claire and Charlie all back to the bunker when Dean returned to Crowley's throne room. 

"Well?" Said Crowley to Dean as he turned to look at him

Dean frowned "They didn't reprogram him" 

"Why then, are you looking like you can't remember where you buried your nuts squirrel" Said Crowley before chuckling and adding "Pun unintended" 

Dean ignored his comment and asked "Did everyone go back to the bunker?" 

"Yeah that other angel took them back" Said Crowley

"Rowena was in heaven" Said Dean

"What!?" Asked Crowley 

"She's done something to Cass. Took his feelings away or something, I'm not entirely sure. But that wasn't Cass" Said Dean

"Do you remember how you feel about him?" 

"No. I know that I did, but I don't remember it" Said Dean

"Well then whats the problem? You don't remember being in love with him.. He doesn't remember or feel love for you anymore?" Asked Crowley

"I don't know" Said Dean "I can't shake this feeling that it's wrong. What were we like together?" 

Crowley made a face "Disgusting. You know when you watch a film and the loved up couple do ridiculous things, like going to Rome for a date when they have only been together for like a week.. Well imagine - you and Castiel - you could go anywhere in the world you wanted, at any time.. I must have only heard a tiny fraction of what you to got up to, but it was enough. You had one of those relationships that is just cringe worthy to observe from the outside. The pair of you were so annoyingly happy - all the bloody time" 

Dean looked at him strangely "I.. I want that back"

Crowley huffed loudly, slapping his hand to his forehead in a 'well duh' fashion and then said "Go get him then. Just get my mother to undo whatever she did to him"

"No" Said Dean "That wouldn't be fair. I have to remember first. Otherwise he will just be in pain again and I might not be crazy in love with him right now, but I still care enough to know I never want him in that pain again, because of me" 

Crowley looked at him "See! Cringe worthy" 

"How can I remember?" Said Dean thinking outloud

"My vote still goes to true loves kiss" 

"What?" Said Dean looking at him 

"Well I did mention it to Castiel but he seemed to think either I was joking or that it wouldn't work - I don't know. But think about every fairy tale monster you've read about, vampires, demons, fairy's, were wolfs.. Witches.. Magic.. Its all real.. So whats to say true loves kiss isn't? Is it really more crazy to think that love could break a spell, than that a spell could be cast in the first place?"

Dean looked at him "But neither of us remembers loving the other?" 

"If its TRUE love Dean. I doubt that would matter. Not that i'm positive of course. But what have you got to lose giving it a try?"


	29. The Bigger Picture

Rowena looked at Castiel "Are you alright deary?" 

"Yes" Said Castiel "But i feel different" 

"Well that was kind of the point" Said Rowena eyes glinting as she watched him 

"But its more than not feeling anything for Dean Winchester" He said looking at her, head tilted slightly to the side "I seem to be feeling something else" 

"Mmm?" Asked Rowena stepping forwards towards him "What's that?"

He looked at her. How had he never noticed it before, whenever they had had a problem in the past - Rowena had usually been the one to fix it. She had always stepped in at the last moment to save the day, however reluctantly - she'd still done it. How strong this woman must be, how clever, how much she had sacrificed unwillingly to help them, she had even given them the anti hex bags. 

He stepped forward, closing the gap. Looking at her as he put a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her towards him so there lips were nearly touching, then tilted his head to whisper in her ear "Disgust" He said still holding her by the neck as she shifted uncomfortably at his voice

"What?" She asked trying to keep cool.

"Disgust in you. Rowena. Its taken me a long time to figure it out I admit. But now that my head is clear of Dean Winchester I am finally able to see what you have done. You see, those anti hex bags you gave us. Claire gave me one before we left the bunker this morning. But I dropped mine, by accident with Jacobs body in to the volcano. So when I was in heaven i picked up one from the hospital. The idea being that prevention is better than cure. It disables any unwelcome spell. So while the spell to relieve me of my feelings for Dean worked. Your little add on did not. Did you really just try to magically roofie me? I wondered before why Claire and Ben had been affected by the spell on the house.. when they were carrying your anti hex bags? They were all duds. You were working with Jacob... How else would he have known about Ben and Lisa? How else would he have known Garth? How else could he have possibly known that Sam would come for him? You see my feelings for Dean maybe gone. But my feelings for Claire? Sam, Charlie and Ben.. are not. You endangered all of their lives using Jacobs revenge fantasy as a cover. The only thing I can't figure out.. is why?"

"To destroy the Winchesters" She said looking at him "It's always been about those bloody Winchesters. You and Hannah aren't the only angels who have been throwing around demands"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Castiel

"None of this was my idea. I didn't want anything to do with those two idiots ever again. But I have this thing about staying alive, and when Lucifer threatens to burn you alive. You do as he is asking" 

"Lucifer is behind all of this?" Asked Castiel suddenly nervous "And the love spell?"

"He wanted you loyal to me, and therefore - loyal to him. He knew that you wouldn't be able to cope being around Dean with him not really knowing who you were" She said 

"What if i'd been reprogrammed?" 

"Well I don't know" Said Rowena "I guess you and Dean would have lost each other forever. But I don't think Lucifer expected you to do that" 

"There was never any spell on Dean to make him see haunting's from his past - that was Lucifer"

"Giving him visions?" Said Castiel putting the jigsaw together in his mind "What else?" 

"The memory spell was mine - that's how i knew how to remove it so quickly. But the love block thing he has going on. That's old magic, Lucifer's work, I've never seen before. I wasn't lying when i said I couldn't heal it, I can't. Only Dean can do that. But he has to want to be fixed. And the idea is that without the feeling of the love he felt when he was with you.. he wont care" 

"Where is Lucifer?" Asked Castiel 

"I don't know, hopefully no where near here" She said glancing around

Castiel thought for a moment "The only place you will be safe is in heaven's prison. I'd kill you myself now, but we may need you" 

Rowena looked worried but nodded. Castiel took hold of her arm roughly and they were in the play ground suddenly. 

"Castiel?" Came Balthazars voice questioningly

"Hello Balthazar. I'm Back" 

Balthazar smiled as he allowed Rowena and Castiel to pass him and enter heaven.


	30. God himself could not sink this ship

Dean and Crowley arrived at the bunker. 

"Come on in" Said Dean to Crowley

Crowley looked at him "Does this make us friends Dean?" 

Dean looked at him and laughed for the first time since waking up "Don't push it"

Crowley looked at him with a smirk 

"Dean?" Came Claire's voice 

"Yeah it's me" Said Dean "Is Cass here?" 

"No i was hoping he was with you" Said Claire looking disappointed 

"I got to heaven as he and Rowena were coming out. They didn't reprogram him. But she took away his love - for me" 

Claire's face was a mix of relief and pity "Where is he now?" 

"Somewhere with Rowena - I don't know" Said Dean

Sam, Charlie and Ben joined them in the library and they all sat down. 

"I'm going to get him back" Said Dean "I'm going to get it all back, the last four years, me and Cass"

As though he had heard him Castiel appeared suddenly - but he was not alone. Hannah, Balthazar and maybe half a dozen other angels were there. 

Everyone jumped up, but no one faster than Claire and she rushed at Castiel who smiled at her "I'm so sorry Claire"

"Don't ever do that again" Said Claire hugging him tightly "I can't lose you Castiel" 

He hugged her back, kissing her forehead before his eye's rose to meet Dean's across the room. 

"Dean.." He said 

Dean was crossing the room towards him and Claire moved out of the way quickly. 

Dean stopped right in front of Castiel and spoke to him "I don't remember Cass, but I want to" He pulled Cass's face towards his own and Castiel responded immediately kissing him as though it was his last day on earth. Dean's tongue slipped into Castiel's mouth and as it touched Cass's he saw thousands of images in his head. Memory's. How he had been stabbed in the heart at Castiel's judgement and Cass's scream as he had believed Dean was dead. There first kiss in that motel room. There one year anniversary when the they had stayed in Hawaii and lay under the stars the whole night simply talking. Castiel being there for him as he had discovered Ben was his son. And his face, looking so hurt when Dean had lept away from him in bed. "Cass..." Breathed Dean resurfacing from the kiss to find tears rolling down his own face, he was crying "I'm so sorry"

Castiel looked at him "I'm sorry Dean, I chose to forget you. You had no choice. I will never forget you again. As soon as I realised what Rowena had been up to I had her repair my memory's, feelings" 

Everyone was watching, smiling. Before Balthazar stepped forward and shocked everyone by quoting a movie he claimed to hate "God himself could not sink this ship"


	31. The Weapons Of Heaven

"You're not coming" Said Dean and Cass at the same time at opposite sides of the bunker.

Castiel was talking to Claire in her room and Dean was speaking with Ben in the kitchen they both looked furiously back at the angels. 

"I'm hunter. I have training" Said Claire angrily 

"I understand that Claire, but this is Lucifer" Said Castiel "I will be to worried about you if you come. So forgive me..." He tapped her forehead with a finger and she fell asleep, he caught her and lowered her on to her bed "But I have to know you are safe" He finished

Ben just huffed at Dean angrily but knowing nothing he said would change his mind. 

"This is Lucifer we're talking about. Little hot for your first case Ben" Said Dean "Besides you need to look after Claire"

Ben rolled his eyes "Claire could easily kick my ass" 

Dean grinned "True. Listen, Sam has his own car and since I don't need to drive anymore, I was thinking.. Maybe you look after my baby for me?" 

"Are you serious?" Asked Ben

"Yeah just don't douche her up and I get to drive her whenever I want still" Said Dean pulling the keys to his beloved Impala and throwing them at Ben as he turned to walk out of the kitchen stopping and adding as he stood in the doorway "Maybe you could take Claire out for a drive?" 

"Yeah.. Thanks De -- dad" Said Ben and Dean smiled at him, before turning and walking away.

 

********************

Hannah, Balthazar and the other angels had come packing, the weapons Balthazar had stolen from heaven were now laid out on the table in the library. Except for the Lot's Salt a particular favourite of Balthazar's that he had not been willing to part with on account of its sentimental value 

"You remember when I used this on Raphael, Cassie?" Asked Balthazar as Castiel had entered the room "Ah.. good times" 

Castiel failed to hide a smirk at Balthazar's words and both of them got reprimanding looks from Hannah who was looking over what was on the table. 

She glanced up at Dean as he entered the room "I think you should take this" She held up a spear like object, Dean stare at her blankly

"Why me, what is it?" He asked 

"It is The Lance of Michael and considering you were predestined to beat Lucifer with it - as Michael's vessel of course, it seems fitting that, now that you are an angel in your own right you defeat him with it now.. As Dean Winchester" Said Hannah looking at the lance as she handed it to Dean.

Dean swallowed "So no pressure then" 

Balthazar winked at him "Oh and just you know.. I want it back afterwards - preferably cleaned" 

Crowley had been talking to Sam and Charlie a little away from the group 

"So what do you say Moose? Pippi Longstocking? You on board?" He asked them

Charlie grinned at her nickname "I'm in" She looked at Sam who eyed Crowley but nodded

"I'm in" 

"Excellent" Said Crowley and the three of them left the room and headed to the bunkers dungeon room to collect a book and some other items "Lets get to work"


	32. The Key

Dean, Castiel, Sam, Charlie, Crowley, Balathzar, Hannah and the other six angels appeared in Stull Cemetery. 

"Well.. good thing we came ready to dance" Said Balthazar looking around at the twenty or so demons that were waiting for them. 

The demons who had all been stood in a small crowd parted and there in the middle stood Lucifer himself. Crowley glanced to Charlie and the two of them backed off immediately, ducking behind one of the grave stones as Sam with the colt in one hand and an angel blade tucked into his pants moved in front of the grave stone shielding them. 

Lucifer stepped forward "Well this is a bit embarrassing but...can you guys give me a few minutes? My witch is running late" 

"Rowena isn't coming" Said Castiel glaring at him

Lucifer looked at him "I see. She dead? I'm just asking so I can cross that of my list off things to do today"

Castiel's eyes narrowed at him

"Really? You let her live.. I'm disappointed in you Castiel, not just because that means I'll have to go and do it but i mean you come here, rocking the new coat like a badass and you couldn't even dispose of the witch who betrayed you? I expected more"

"What was your plan here Lucifer?" Asked Hannah 

"It's quiet simple really, while Castiel would no doubt have all the angels flapping to help him fix his precious Winchesters, everyone would be to busy to see what was really happening right under their noses.. literally - i'm talking about hell. I am Lucifer. I am The Devil. That use to mean something.. Now we have this.. pretender sitting on the throne. My throne! Don't think I didn't see you down there Crowley! Soul counts been a little low recently? Yeah sorry about that - but hey at least your demons found Rowena quickly - oh no - sorry that was because of me too.. They really don't think much of you anymore you know. Seem to think you've gone a bit soft - then you come here and hide? Can't say I blame them for finally choosing to back a winner.. "

"So all of this.. was about getting your throne back?" Asked Hannah

"Well that's phase one" Said Lucifer smiling "Then its Apocalypse Now time. Give my demons free run on top for a while.. you know let them get some fresh air, stretch their legs a bit, burn some shit down here and there. I really dislike seeing caged beasts suffer - i'm sure you understand" 

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing - everything that had happened.. Lisa dying.. it had all just been a distraction and they had fallen for it as Lucifer had raised a demon army. 

"So now I just have one question for you before we begin, do you know any available witches? Because once we get the colt from Sam over there" Lucifer waves like a teenage girl with a crush to Sam "It's party time" 

Sam looked at the colt, gripping it more tightly as he realised he had inadvertently brought one of the few things that stood between Lucifer and him raising a demon army - the key to a hell gate. 

Sam looked up meeting Lucifer's eyes with an expression of horror. Lucifer winked at him and said "Hey Sam, wanna be my new bestie and hand it over now? I promise i'll save you a front row seat for the apocalypse"


	33. The Righteous Man

Sam looked at Lucifer "Not a chance" and fired the colt towards him and the demons surrounding him. The bullet hit one of them and they burned up and were reduced to a pile of ash on the floor

The six angels that had come down from heaven to help moved in front of Sam now creating a protective semi circle around him and the colt as Lucifer looked down at his burnt demon pile of ash

"Rude" He said sarcastically. Then raised his arms and tilted his hands forward signalling to his demons. Who charged all at once.

Balthazar blasted one with the Lot's Salt stone and watched as it turned to rock before him and then crumbled away. Hannah rushed at one with an angel blade and stabbed it through the throat. The six angels around Sam were each now fighting a demon and Sam turned to look down behind the headstone, where Charlie and Crowley were almost finished setting up their spell.

"You better hurry up guys" Said Sam

"Almost there" Said Charlie

Dean and Castiel were in the thick of the battling, Castiel cutting down any demon who got to close with his angel blade and Dean taking one down with the Lance of Michael. Lucifer watched as the demon hit with the Lance of Michael exploded before his eyes. He turned to look at Dean "Now where did you get that?" Dean stood re-firming his grip on the Lance as he and Lucifer seemed to pull away from the group, circling each other. 

Lucifer's eyes burned a hot red colour briefly and Dean realised he was now holding an iron pitchfork. 

Sam was watching the two circle each other as he was still trapped behind his protective angel guard.

Crowley suddenly stood up, Charlie along side him. "Alright Moose. Any time you like" 

"Hey!!" He shouted to Lucifer "Leave my brother alone!" He lifted the colt high above him and threw it through the air towards where Lucifer and Dean had been squaring off against each other. 

Dean looked horrified as he saw Lucifer catch the colt in his free hand. 

"Dean!" shouted Sam and Dean lunged with forward with The Lance of Michael as Lucifer raised his pitchfork... 

Castiel turned from successfully dispatching yet another demon to see Dean's movement and watched trembling in dismay as Lucifer's pitchfork cut through him. Dean dropped to the ground instantly spitting up blood. 

Sam, Charlie, Crowley, Balthazar watched in shock.

Hannah ran at Lucifer who was still holding the end of the pitchfork that was impaling Dean and the colt in the other hand. She raised her angel blade as Lucifer noticing her advance let go of the pitchfork and raised the colt firing off one single shot that hit Hannah square in the chest. She dropped to the ground, burning up. Dean who was still spitting up blood. Grasped the Lance of Michael in his hand. Lucifer knelt over him. "It's over Dean"

"Yeah it is" Grinned Dean through bloodied teeth as Lucifer drove his angel blade down into Dean's chest beside the pitchfork - at the same moment that Dean had raised the Lance of Michael. Which was now holding Lucifer impaled over him, he was only there a moment with a look of utter shock on his face before he exploded in a bloody mess that rained down on top of Deans body.


	34. Hello Dean

Two year's later.....

Castiel smiled at his prefect face "Hello Dean"

Claire and Ben smiled at Castiel.

"Would you like to hold him? I mean your basically his granddad after all.." Said Ben

Castiel smiled, and cradled baby Dean in his arms "He certainly is a strong little one" Said Cass as baby Dean wrapped a tiny hand around Castiels finger. 

"That'll be those Winchester gene's" Said Sam smiling at Ben

Castiel passed baby Dean back to his mother and looked at her "You will be such a brilliant mom Claire" 

 

*********************

Two years earlier..

Crowley stared mouth open in shook, Charlie was on her knees crying, Sam had pushed through the angels around him to run to his brother, as Castiel dropped to the ground besides Dean. 

"Dean?" Breathed Castiel looking for any signs of life in Dean's still open but seemingly frozen eye's. 

"DEAN" Shouted Sam as he reached his side "NO, NO..... Dean?!!" 

The other angels picked up the colt, the Lance of Michael that had fallen to the ground as Lucifer had exploded, Castiel carefully pulled the pitchfork from Dean's chest as Sam removed the angel blade.  
Cass then ran his hands just above Dean's body over his wounds and they closed up. Sam looked up at him, not daring to hope that he had somehow healed Dean but then saw Castiel gently use two fingers to close Dean's eyes.

"There" He said not having any words of his own, so quoting from the moment Dean had said was the worst moment in the Harry Potter series "Now he could just be sleeping" 

 

*********************

One year later

"You know I'm always pleased to see you Cassie" Said Balthazar "But if you need more time... "

"I need to do something useful. I've had enough time. With Crowley and Charlie locking the gates of hell and sealing all the demons down there.. there is not much for me to do now. What ever you ask of me, I shall do"

Balthazar considered for a moment "There is a job opening that has been available for a while now Castiel. I wonder if you would be suited to it?"

"What is it?" 

"Death" Said Balthazar

Castiel suddenly remembered Dean having killed Death to save Sam and how the reapers had become disorganised, some had even begun to follow Lucifer and souls that should have gone to hell had gone to him instead. Feeding into his demon army. With him leading the reapers, that would never be allowed to happen again.. 

"I'll do it" Said Castiel

"Very well" Said Blathazar standing up from behind the desk that use to be Hannah's. He walked over to a door at the side of the office and opened it. Castiel saw with a lurch in his stomach The Lance of Michael and Lucifers pitchfork hanging from the wall and there besides them... Deaths own scythe. Balthazar picked it up and walked back over to Castiel "I know you shall wield it fairly Castiel. I believe in you"

 

********************

One year earlier...

 

Dean opened his eyes. The brightness making him close them again, tentatively he opened them again allowing his eyes to adjust. 

He was in a house.. It seemed almost familiar to him. He saw two blurred figures coming towards him as he sat up. They came into focus as the got nearer. 

"Dad? Mom?" Gasped Dean

"Hello Son" Said John Winchester as Mary knelt down to pull Dean into a tight hug.

"Dean" Came another voice behind him. 

Dean turned his head.. "Cass?"

Mary Winchester let go of her son so he could stand. He got to his feet and looked round at Castiel who seemed to be crying

"Cass.. What the.." 

"You won Dean. You iced the devil" Said Cass his voice shaking "But Lucifer stabbed you. With an angel blade, destroying your grace and .. killing you. But as your angel grace was destroyed your soul retook its human form"

"What do you....?"

"This is your heaven Dean Winchester" Said Castiel taking his hand "I was permitted to bring you here"

"I'm dead?" 

"You are at peace, you are done" Said Castiel "You saved the world. I have to go now. But I will see you again Dean Winchester. I love you" Castiel pulled Dean in the softest kiss and Dean never wanted to let go, but when he opened his eyes Castiel was gone. He turned back, startled to look up in to the faces of his parents.

"You saved the world Dean" Said John proudly smiling at his eldest son

 

THE END


End file.
